Men and Women. Part 2.

Things women always do although they may not agree to:
• Always use tears as an arsenal when the battle looks too tough to win
• Always settles for money over other virtues and say that money can’t buy love
• Always watches romantic sagas and cries if you do not cry with her
• Always feign a headache when the man is in mood
• Always withheld sex as a tool to punish the man
• Always compare the man with her father, even though she never got so well with her dad
• Always hallucinate about the man’s good looking female colleagues who have no other job than to hit on him
• Always think that her man is innocent but his friends aren’t
• Always forgive but never forget and wait for pay back moments
• Always love the expensive because her love will pay
• Always ask “where are you?” followed by “who are you with?” and then “who that female’s voice I can overhear?”
• Always share the problem with the man yet react if he tries for a solution
• Always fight over the remote if the man is watching his favourite sport
• Always worry about her looks and wants the man to lie
• Always feel that the man loves his mom more than her

Things men do but never admit to:
• Always choose looks over intelligence and so dumb women die rich
• Always want to be a boy again and party with friends
• Always have sex in the mind
• Always scan women with ex-ray eyes irrespective of age and when caught vehemently deny
• Always love watching porn and secretly dream of having such a life
• Always find it difficult to control his weapon that’s the reason for most of their problems
• Always love the neighbours women more than his own
• Always warn you to watch out after marriage and that’s why it’s called the bachelor party to forget their own sufferings
• Always find it difficult to ask for directions
• Always think that his woman is too dumb to find out
• Always knows who is the real boss yet act bossy to show off
• Always leaves the toilet seat up, the wet towel on bed, the shoes all around the house yet finds the home absolutely clean
• Always dread the credit card/debit card bills he has gifted to his woman
• Always expect his woman to cook like his mom and takes the risk of comparing them both ending up hungry most nights (in every way)
• Always feel his woman is getting smarter under somebody else’s influence


Pic Courtesy: Google Images

Men and Women. Part 1.

Things women never do, atleast they claim not to:
• Women don’t snore
• Women don’t fart
• Women don’t argue, they just say ‘we need to talk’
• Women never nag, they just remind
• Women don’t wrong, you get her wrong
• Women don’t shop, they just don’t have enough
• Women don’t eat, they just nibble
• Women never put on weight, the clothes just shrink
• Women crave for love, but only money can buy it
• Women don’t order, they just tell

Things men never do, atleast they admit not to:
• Men don’t cry
• Men don’t gossip
• Men can’t multi-task because that’s the best excuse so far
• Men never ask for directions so they’re directionless
• Real men don’t cheat but who cares to be real
• Men don’t listen but for sex there are no don’ts
• Men never grow up and why at all if boys can have all the fun
• Men don’t fight, they just stop listening
• Men don’t get drunk, they get banged because somebody else was drunk
• Men don’t look but if they don’t then who will?

The language of silence

When I am quiet you ask me to talk
How will I know, if you don’t speak?
When I open my mouth you press to shut me out
Too hard to speak loud, I barely manage to whisper out
How will I understand, if I can’t hear you out?
When I shout to make you hear loud
You hit hard, oh now you’ll shout?
Woman show me respect, you scream aloud
I whimpered with pains that my body could feel
While the mind is numb bearing the burden of abused
I chose to be quiet because I am never quite right
Haven’t been right but haven’t I been good?
A daughter lesser to cattle you sold
A wife who kept quiet to rape and abuse
A mother who buried her daughters in the womb
A woman who has been abandoned with nowhere to go
A woman who has forgotten all languages of humankind
And embraced silence to speak what ears wouldn’t dare to hear


Pic Courtesy: Google Images

Drop the X

“Hello **** I’ll call you back”, said he. She fumed not on the reason that he picked a wrong name. But the real worry was the name he took. The name was an indication that he still can’t forget his past. And does it also mean that he is still in touch with the past?
She did get the call back but it didn’t comfort her. She just couldn’t stop thinking about his X.
“You know she liked this place too and so we use to come here often,” said he some other day when they were having dinner at her favourite restaurant. “Oh Gawd! I’m never going to step in here again,” she took a pledge.
“Please don’t talk to me like that, my X use to do the same,” he complained when she told him to pick up the wet towel from the bed. She made a note of it and from next time, quietly placed the towel to dry without making a fuss.
“Why do you cook this so often, this was her favourite dish too?” he teasingly commented.
It continued unhappily thereafter...
“Don’t talk like X.”
“Don’t dress like X.”
“Don’t shop like X.”
“Don’t shout like X.”
“Don’t laugh like X.”
X became more than an alphabet and was misused frequently, until the day he said, “You look like X.”
Now, you can’t compete with your own looks, can you?
Right then, she decided to become the X. All because he refused to move to Y from X.
Lesson: Even if X-mas starts with X which means the long winter breaks. But X also stands for “ex” which can mean a break-up if you refuse to let go of it. And you’ll end up blaming the X again.


Pic Courtesy: Google Images

When nothing is the same

“If life gives you lemon, you make a refreshing lemonade”, said the wise. But me-not-so-wisely keep questioning, “why lemons?” They still come cheap. Instead why can’t life give me diamonds so that I can make some jewellery out of it? After all I have every right to feel priceless. Moreover, I am a girl and diamond is my best friend.
Certainly, I would love to believe that I am valuable for the organisation I work. Hence, I ought to be paid, handsomely. This is the mother of all season – THE APPRAISAL SEASON. We all eagerly wait for it more than any IPL or World Cup season. Because unfortunately most things in life come at a price and for everything else well there is the time-tested ‘letters of appreciation’. Fact is such letters don’t pay our bills and so money is the honey we all are sucked too.
This season witnesses a lot of change. Even the best friend at work turns green with envy, if the percentage hike isn’t the same. The harmless junior gives you a look which tells you to watch out if you don’t put a good word where it matters. Everybody is busy minding other’s business because all of a sudden the whole office has adorned the task of “a secret agent on mission to know how much the colleagues have earned”.
Suddenly, the bosses become extra important because one word can make or break your proposed abroad trip. Like a hawk your eyes follow them to decipher the meanings of unsaid emotions. A lot cooks within the work stations with speculations over who gets what. And the day you get to know the results, “bombs explode”. Bombs of discontentment, waves of civil war, arguments of mass destruction and everything that makes you think life is so unfair.
The non-performers create the loudest of explosion because even the terror outfits justify their action as Godly, isn’t it? Such is human nature. We are bad judges of our own doings and keep thinking that the world isn’t for us. “I work so hard yet nobody sees me working, is that my fault?” Girls fill buckets with tears and guys brood in public.
And if you’re a performer, well you know everybody hates you more these days. They think you do nothing and still take the cake away. The world is partial to you is their final verdict.
But what remains standard is the APPRAISAL time which is undoubtedly the mother of all season.
Watch out guys, the season is on. So better be careful.


Pic Courtesy: Google Images