For a change

Between writing copies and re-writing lines as per client’s specifications. I wonder what options I have for an alternate career. Here is my list:

(a) Open a Kennel cum dog boarding facility.
Advantage: No deadlines to live by. Dogs will bark but won’t chase me unlike clients. Moreover I can write at my own whims and fancy. Like whenever a dog bites me, I can dedicate one poem to it. At least that’ll give ample freedom to my creative juices.

(b) Open a Kirana (read General) Store.
Advantage: Open and close the shop at my own pace. No more the axe of time threatening to break me off. In addition I can write a piece or two on the aroma of masala and pickles surrounding me. And if I’m lucky can read a book too.

(c) Become a corrupt Politician.
Advantage: Lots of income without the fear of paying income tax. And all I have to do is sit, throw my weight around, use the scare tactics and once in a while go for political preaching. Nobody will hold me accountable for not keeping promises. Hey, that’s what is expected to people from politics. On top of it, I’ll have crowds listening to every word of mine. While here the whole day we have something on our mind, but not a single soul to hear us out. Plus I never need to retire because I do no work to tire.

These three options look really lucrative to me right now. These are recession-proof without the fear of having to search for another job, incase my performance is not up to the expected mark. Who cares? Just do it for a change. What say?

Must have in every Copywriter’s life:

* Clients who think they can write and hence require no writers
* Clients who think. “Who reads copy? So why need copy?”
* One liner briefs
* Forever changing briefs
* Uninspiring Art guy who pulls the trigger through your shoulder
* Shady translations
* Writer’s cramp but strangulating deadlines
* Simple and straight copy(read as plain lines for which you don’t need a copy person)
* Copy checking the final print which makes you wonder, "When did I write this?"
* Critical deadline (read as night out with your Art team with no accounting for late hours)
* Above all the infamous quote, “We can’t afford to pay you that much, but you’ll get growth opportunity.”