Daddy's Little Girl (not little for the world)

During the growing up days, it wasn’t easy to talk to Baba (Dad) on most things. Even the faintest names of guys would trigger a tremor too great to withstand. And it would result on a week long Hitler rule of:

* No guys calling at home
* Curfew after 7 in the evening
* Usual search of belongings to ensure the safety of my innocence
* Cross-checking my whereabouts to detect loopholes
The list was endless…and too embarrassing to get into the details at times.

Time changed, I grew and so did his rules. But one thing that never changed in Baba was his innate desire to ‘protect’ me from this big, bad world. Life hasn’t been too kind to me and with my homecoming after all these years he still wants to take care of his little girl (who is now in her mid 30’s soon to fall in the category of auntyji). So much so that he has no qualms in repeating directions to me and even goes to the extent of teaching me how to cross the busy roads. “Look on your right, then on your left, again on your…,” I interrupt too embarrassed. “So what?” he says, “You will always be little for me”. And still I see his eyebrows form that familiar expression hearing a male voice on my phone. More importantly, he never shies away from the patent statutory warning, “be careful”.
Today, when I brought his beloved car to work for the very first time in my life; I did feel his love clouding me. I drove very carefully, more cautiously than ever knowing that I can’t afford to make a mistake. Almost, as if I could overhear the all familiar tone, “Bete, be safe”.
I know it is not easy to stay with your parents at my age, but sometimes I do feel I am blessed. I know I am not too easy to live with, I scold him and he doesn’t protest. He continues fretting about me unfazed by my mood swings.
Thankfully, HE IS THERE! (And so is his car)

Ding Ding

Simplicity is the best gift that we don’t treasure when we are young. Later on when you lose your innocence, your virginity, your hair among many more; do you realize the loss. Lately, at my place of work I happened to meet a young Intern who makes me miss my days of innocence. And I pray I could preserve hers for her.
She has a vocabulary, version and vision which no matter how many earthquakes strike will find it absolutely difficult to shake. So when the Hero of a movie woos his heroine she smartly says, “ding ding ho gaya”. I keep asking her again and again just to enjoy the ‘ding-ding’ in her words.
She has a clear vision of whom she will marry, when she will marry and has even named the kids she will have. And blatantly declares it to the world with a self-belief that no storms can destroy. Quite oblivious to the complexities of life and destiny. Wish I could be so immaculate in my planning when I was stationed at her age, maybe then life would have been different for me.
She is the epitome of confidence. Cuddly, unconscious about the expanding territories of her body along with a love for food too supreme to partake the sessions of painful workout. While I starve myself and keep telling the mind not to overindulge in food. Wish I could be so carefree in the confidence of youth.
She is bravely opinionated and doesn't spare criticizing the top-notch bosses on the smallest of pretext. While my professional experiences have taught me to avoid conflicts and never doubt the sanity of top authorities. Is it my short shortsightedness or her fiery youthfulness that doesn't let fear overpower?
Part of me envies her and the other part knows that she shall change because the loss of innocence is an inevitable process. All I pray that atleast her life goes as per plans…mine hasn't, atleast somebody’s right? And she is lucky in her Ding-Ding.

Wings on fire

Too tiny to struggle, too bruised to recover
The wings on fire, she knew the end could be near
Yet the spirit behind the tiny body just wouldn’t give up
So, she plunged into the ocean of hope and survival

To heal the bruises of despair and destruction
To breathe in to life like ever before
To recover and let go
To new beginnings and aspirations

To stop being a victim and show the world
“That a little bird can fly with her wings on fire.”