The Yesterday

Image courtesy: Google

Yesterday, the 19th of April was exactly the day I was born some years ago. I was never the one to celebrate it with much gusto rather I am so forgetful with dates that you got to believe me when I tell you that I even forgot mine again some years back. That time I was with mom who reminded me:
(a) Because I was her first child
(b) Because she bore me for 9 difficult months
(c) Because I wasn’t an easy delivery
This was the first time in life that I was away from anybody related through birth or otherwise. I anticipated with much apprehension of the tough day ahead. The entire month has not been particularly smooth for me so I had no high hopes from this particular day.
Yet, I was taken for some pleasant surprise. The friends in this city which snatched a lot from me pulled it through. And I scored high on my self-confidence. They made me feel special. They made me feel wanted. And most importantly they made me feel family. They showered me with messages. They kept my phone busy most of the time with random calls. Even went out of their way to lift my spirits. A special mention to M who left her own family to spend the night at my place. She even treated me to mouth-watering kebabs for dinner. Another M and her sons even offered to bake a cake for me. I refused though because my work stood on the way. Wishes came from every quarter of life and my phone kept ringing.
What would I’ve done without you guys? You’ll always remain special and you made me believe that I am not alone here.
As for those who didn’t wish me (some were eagerly awaited and I kept waiting just to hear their voices), I have no complaints. A pang of disappointment did surface but I guess I am too old to hold it against anyone.
Today, I am a day older and coming to terms with a lot of change.
Thank you all for being there and making my yesterday not so difficult to survive!

The Lost

Picture courtesy: Google

“But I love you a lot and you’re my world,” said she. She needed him in her life more than anything else. She did everything for him. Everything you could ever imagine. Every morning when she looked at herself in the mirror she asked, “Will he like me today?” She dressed the way he liked. Tied her hair the way he approved. Perhaps even smiled the way he wanted.
Every night she waited for him to come home and especially to her. She stood in the balcony trying to catch a glimpse of his even when the mosquitoes feasted on her blood. “Who cares?” she told herself. And when he touched her she told herself, “Now even if death takes me away right at this moment I’ll have no regrets.”
She spent many nights chatting with him yet never got tired of listening to him. People thought that she is mad. Mad she was but only for him.
Then came a day when her world turned upside down. He made an exit from her life. Without a word he simply disappeared. Perhaps her fault was that she was completely lost in love. And couldn't find her way back without him.
Today, you might still find her in the street calling his name. Holding an old photograph she might ask, “Have you seen this man?”

Letter from a daughter

Dear Maa,

I am your child and you made me what I am today. You taught me lessons that do not exist in any textbook. Lessons that are learnt only through living life.
“You are a girl,” you kept reminding all the while. You spent hours teaching the goodness of selflessness, more so because I am a daughter in this world.
You started feeding me with tales of everlasting love. Of the Prince who would come in his shining armor to rescue the hapless Princess. Of happy endings where people lived happily ever after.
And then I grew up believing in them. I kept looking for my own happy ending. I too believed that nice things do happen to nice people. I patiently waited through all hardships of life. I took them all with the belief that “this too shall pass”.
But reality has been something else. The turbulence never seems to end. Each day I wake up thinking today will be different.
Mom, why didn’t you tell me that fairies never exist? Why didn’t you tell me that dreams never come true? Why didn’t you tell me that happy endings are not for real? Why didn’t you tell me that no good is waiting even if you be good?
Next time when you raise me up. Don’t give me stories that I start believing in. Don’t give me hope because it pains when hopes crash. Just tell me plain that I have to suffer for reasons not known. And I have no reason to dream because I am a girl born in this world. Give me everything but not hope.

With a lot of desperation from a daughter you might have known.