Happy New Year!

Happy isn’t only for a new year
Happy is for year after year
Happy is what happy does
Makes that smile last a little longer
Makes the loved ones hold you a little tighter
But happy has a price to pay
Sometimes too big to make you bankrupt
Sometimes too dear to make you lose your dears
And happy are those who know no fears
And happy are those who knows how to stand alone
For happy is all what we need to live
So be happy, folks! Even if you ain’t rich!
Here’s wishing your life is filled with the laughter of happiness
Not only for this year, but the years that fall by…



Pic Courtesy: Google Images

Do you understand?

Some people are born talented and intelligent. But the irony of life is that they come very “few” in numbers, that’s why I said “some”. The moment they appeared, they might have cried intelligently or did something which showed they were special. Unfortunately, I don’t have a clue because I don’t come in the category of those esteemed “few”. My intelligence challenges me most times and I am not able to decipher even some of the simplest things of modern living. These days my biggest challenge is to understand the language of my fellow commuters when I hit the road. Here’s some:
• Why do people honk persistently when the traffic signal glares at you with a big, bright red? The colour is prominent enough to tell you to stop and my problem is that I do stop because I am a law abiding citizen. Yet, the guy behind me keeps honking at me when I refuse to move, asking me to do what?
• Why does the entire world feels like crossing the road right infront of my vehicle, especially when they see a woman (yours truly) behind the wheels? Do they think that women are soft hitters and hence if I run over them, they won’t feel the pain?
• Why does some people put on the left indicator and decide to take a right turn? Are they directionally challenged or yet to decipher the dictionary meaning of a right or left?
• Why do some people drive too safe and create unaccountable risk on their fellow drivers? They brake suddenly because all of a sudden they feel like going slow and without any prior indication you run straight to them. What does that mean?
• Why are some of the people of my tribe so disastrous in driving? They psyche you out so much that the minute you picture a woman behind the wheels, you decide to change your route.
• Why can’t people follow one particular lane when my city has decent roads with proper markings on the roads? What is the fun of crisscrossing and driving?
• Why do people love chaotic traffic? If we can all reach on time by waiting a while for our turns, why are we so short of time that we can kill or get killed to bully our way through?
Over seven years of driving haven’t been able to give me any answer to these questions. As I confessed that I am not intelligent and too mediocre in most aspects, so my intellect runs through its own challenges. Maybe yours isn’t, so feel free to dig deeper to furnish me with some answers.


Pic Courtesy: Google Images

The way Up

The youth of today’s time is fearless, one quality that I would like to imbibe at work and life. They are more focused and inquisitive to anything that is their business and otherwise. Lately, an encounter with a fresher at work taught me few lessons in life.
She is young and has beauty on her side. Most important, she knows it and makes no qualm about making both the attributes work to her advantage. Whenever required she flaunts her beauty to clean bowl the audience (mostly men). Whenever in doubt she doesn’t shy away from asking questions, be it professional or personal.
The first time we met, she asked me about my age. I wasn’t shy to give her the exact number and before I could position myself to answer her next. She fired, “So why ain’t you married yet?” I was speechless as I wasn’t prepared to open my chapter of life infront of a complete stranger. She didn’t rest and took my silence for a conclusion of her very own. She confidently replied, “Is it that you didn’t find a man willing enough to marry and risk his life with you?”
Now, this was the moment for me. I am known to be quite a sucker for work-standards and I go to all length to ensure it. I never knew that my be-perfect-till-die spirits at work would render me redundant in the marriage market. That I’m tough isn’t a fact I ain’t aware of, but nobody until now has muster up the courage to declare it so openly to me.
Rather being annoyed at her, I started admiring her. How else could you explain the guts of an inexperienced, fresher passing a strong remark to her senior, so openly? Gal, you’ve the balls!
This generation is something so different from mine. They have no fear for authority and absolutely no remorse for being outspokenly, brutal. They don’t have the fear of being fired, no pressure of being appreciated or no issues at being rejected.
The conversation didn’t end there. She was like an open book for me to study. She confessed her last affair which boomed because of lack of family approval. And it didn’t stop there, she showed me her ex’s photograph, a guy loaded with looks and money. Yet, it didn’t stop her from dumping him because their priorities didn’t match. She knows herself much better than I could gather knowledge about myself even after spending thirty five years of being here.
She openly declared that she isn’t the type to lie low and take care of the house. She isn’t the one to cook for anybody because it is such a waste of talent. “If he wants a wife to cook why can’t he marry a maid?” she challenged. All I could respond was a contemplative “hmm”.
Wish I was so sorted and wouldn’t have made so many mistakes. Wish I could start all over this coming year, re-wind my life-span and start young.
May the coming year bless me with more knowledge to understand the mantra of a life ‘well-lived”!


Pic Courtesy: Google Images

That's life!

He is hardly twelve but has the responsibility of a thirty year old. No school to go to, he has a job of a shoe polisher and perhaps the responsibility of running a household in this age of inflation. He roams around my workplace requesting people to tidy up their shoes. Few let him do the honours while most are too busy to even respond to a tiny request. But that doesn’t deter his spirits; he continues day in and day out. Afterall, his living is at stake and maybe other’s decision decides his next meal.
The amazing thing about the boy is that poverty hasn’t invaded his happiness or killed his innocence. He is still happy-go-lucky making conversations with regulars like me. The only problem is that I am not a potential customer as I don’t wear leather shoes. He cribs but doesn’t miss a chance to strike a conversation with me. He talks his age and is good with numbers (unlike me) although he hasn’t seen the gates of a school, ever. It’s amazing what series of institutions have failed to teach me, life has taught him a skill to sustain.
He never begs for money but demands for an opportunity to earn his livelihood. And if you try to give him on charity, he bluntly refuses and asks you to give him food because most of the time he doesn’t make much. Every time he is hungry and the stomach makes growling sound. But the sound is overpowered by his beautiful smile that makes his blemishes look good too.
Recently, a photo-shoot demanded us to shoot people outside the office. We shot few pictures of him to cheer him up. He posed confidently infront of the camera, smiling to the shutter bag. It was a beautiful click and wish we could model him. But he was in self-doubt and said, “I know I am dark and I have multiple marks on my skin so how can you say the picture is perfect?” Life hasn’t been easy to him and he is fighting his bit every day. He wasn’t complaining at all but just acknowledging the facts. A learning lesson for adults like us who are forever sulking about our flaws, beautiful people who fuss over their looks and spare no moment to bore talking about their supposedly not-so-perfect features.
That day this small boy of 12 taught me the essence of living. He taught me to accept imperfections with a smile and still continue fighting out. He showed me how easy is it to get into self-pity and think of our problems as the worst that could threaten humankind. Look around and maybe then we can see how fortunate we are, lucky to have a family who love us the way we are, grateful of the job we have that takes care of our bills. Lavish meal spreads laid out for us to feed our hunger and our monetary edge that lets us afford the gains.
I’ve volunteered to make life few rupees easy for the boy to survive. This coming year, I do resolve to buy a leather shoe to make the boy earn his livelihood. Wish people with leather shoes had some time to spare and help the young lad make enough to survive. Hope, that isn’t too much to ask, is it?

Pic Courtesy: Google Images

Woman, You can!

Suddenly, my workplace has gained a new happiness. People around me seem to be happier. More relaxed and stress-free. Do you know the reason why?
Answer, is that it is holiday time for kids and wives are leaving town to join their families. To add to the icing is that they are leaving behind their men. The men are ecstatic because they hardly get opportunities to re-live their bachelorhood days. Enjoy their me-time and party out with friends. The countable separation days become occasion to celebrate. While their women suffer in silence missing their presence all around.

Wonder, why do men feel so caged around their women? Most men that I've known aren't happy with the arrangements back home. They crib, complain and detest bindings. Maybe, we women are to be blamed for it. We fail to keep them bonded, attracted and most important, interested.
Over the years, we live with them in the faint hope of transforming them as per our dimensions. When the truth is that when we don’t have the power to change ourselves how can we expect to change others? And why even make an effort is something that I fail to understand? The personality traits that attracted us to them in the first place become unbearable after a certain period of time. We struggle to better those and instead make our lives a big struggle. We build a chain of do’s and don’ts which gets too suffocative with time. When a pet hates to be chained how can we do the same to our loved ones?
Time to think, women!
• When a thing of beauty is to be admired, why do we stop the men to admire other women? Or create a big ruckus if they are caught in the act? Come on gals, don’t you love the adulation of being admired? Why then deny the same privilege to other women? And do remember, if your relationship is strong, the act of viewing doesn’t have the capacity to shake it. They will stare and come back to you because men are men, they will see whether you like it or not. But at the end, you’re their chosen one. Don’t ever forget that!
• Every individual has the right to enjoy. Your man is human too. Set him free so that he can party with his friends all by himself. Male bonding is imperative to a man’s growth. You too can build your own circle of friends and enjoy some female bonding. Just because he is with you doesn’t mean he should boycott others. Chances are the space that you give him will make him miss you more letting him keep coming back to you.
• He has no control over how his family feels about you. He isn’t a party to it and their opinions about you are entirely theirs. Just the way you don’t possess any special power about changing the opinions of your folks regarding him. If anybody can do that it is you and only you. Only you can make his family like or dislike you. The choice is yours to make an effort towards it and if doesn’t force you to do anything, you too shouldn't make him work hard to score points. Too many people can come between you two and common sense tells you to avoid it.
• His job is important for both him and you. It does have an effect on your standard of living too. If he has steep deadlines to follow, he doesn’t have any control over the time-frame ditto your situation when the biggies bully you to run through multiple assignments. It sucks your energy rendering you tired and when you go back, you crave for some peace of mind to renew the battle tomorrow. Your man deserves that too, so don’t make life difficult for him after he returns to the den. Don’t crib to give him sleepless nights.
• Men aren't good at multi-tasking. Wise people have written numerable bestsellers about it and you must have come across atleast one. But to remember it each time when your man fails to complete a task is quite a task for you. He isn’t as God-gifted as you are in juggling between office and home. Aren't we taught to be compassionate towards the weak? So exercise it and learn to forget that he forgets most things. Remember, his intentions were right because he loves his peace more than he loves you. And he has lived with you longer to know the impact of his forgetting to do the task will have on his peace. So surprise him by not shaking his world when he forgets to run an errand for you. Remind him again and hope for the best. Chances are that he will and still if he fails, do anything besides creating a scene when he comes back.
Let’s atleast try to make the world a better place for us and the men around. Because, if we succeed, men won’t jubilate when we aren't around. They will miss us and make every effort to have us back at the earliest.

I know it’s a big ask, but woman-we’re good at stiff tasks!

Pic Courtesy: Google Images

Pretty gets easy

“You know, you’re looking very pretty today,” said a colleague of mine. She made my day because compliments are hard to come by especially from the same sex. We are more critical of each other and when they come, you know how rarely they’ll fall on you. Hence, you preserve it well.
Life is pretty and a little easy for people who score big on the looks department. They get away much easily than people who aren't’t born with great looks. One killing look or a beautiful smile makes people suddenly compassionate towards them. Even the shrewdest of bosses soften up and overlook their performance. Whoever said that looks doesn’t matter, I will contend that. It surely does in the corporate and personal world.
And, I don’t blame the others. I too go a little easy on killer looks. It makes the day a little more bearable if you have good looking people around you. I stretch myself a little more whenever lookers are involved in my professional territory. I try to complain a little less when deadlines run steep. I try to create less problems when a looker is handling the account. Even better if the person heading the project is a joy to look at and I follow his order to the tee, on such rare occasions. After all, this is not an ideal world to work in.
We are all human and I am no less. So every time there is a new hire, the office goes in chorus enquiring about the person’s scores on the appearance factor. I join in unison. You can’t blame anyone because we end up spending more time slogging endless hours and life gets better if you have a looker to keep the motivation high.
On the personal front, I am weary of lookers. Lookers come with a statutory warning of extra efforts to retain them. They have a tendency to look around and end up with people who look better than you. All the time you end up worrying about their market value and the many takers who are ready to grab them from you. Most lookers know that and they are too absorbed in the qualities of their face value to which they have no contribution of their own other than thanking their good genes.
But whatever the truth is, good looking people makes the world a pretty place to dwell in. Agree it or not, it is always better if you get a pretty face to glare at. And if complements come your way, grab it and enjoy as long as it last. Who cares if the taker actually means it or not, good words are music to the ears!

Have a pretty great day!

Pic Courtesy: Google Images

Stop Now

Fog is greeting us every morning. Winter has entered from the doors and windows. We are heading for another year- 2014. Time doesn’t stop for anyone but sometimes memories don’t fade with time. Like the Nirbhaya incident which shook the country last year around this time. Lot has been said, system did feel the jitters of the heated reactions and judgment was thrown on the fast track. Debates still run on whether justice was delivered or not. But what is lost can never be gained, the loss of faith and the complete loss of sensitivity not only by the perpetrators, even onlookers or society at large which refused to act on the spot.
Nirbhaya won’t be alone, many more exists and lots more will follow. Atleast, we are aware of Nirbhaya and her pains. What about a three year old girl who went through a similar horror around the same time when the nation was joining for justice to Nirbhaya? The girl has lost her innocence to speak the least, she has lost her smile and relives the trauma through repeated narration of her case to the law makers. The family is struggling to make a good fight against the inhuman atrocities meted out. Fast track court couldn’t be appointed to hear the case. A year has passed and the family is on a battle to make their voice heard. Their case didn’t even get a media coverage resulting in no people’s support to champion their cause. Result is that they are where they were a year back, recovering and not recovered.
Question is whether we could bring the time back for the survivors; tell them nothing will ever go wrong. Give them their lives back and moreover the security to dream, the way they always did. Now, that’s a big task to ask for going by the rising number of crimes. Their increase in number is failing to create any shock value. We look and move to the next page or the next channel, telling ourselves how bad the world around us has become. We remember to keep a track on our women, drop them and pick them from wherever, remind them to keep a low public profile and in our minds keep praying for their safety. As far as it happens to others, as good humans we discuss and express our anger on social media and try to tighten the security of our loved ones. But nothing less, nothing more!
Policies won’t help, law can’t deliver, police will fail unless we educate our men. Till the time, my country grieves on the births of its fairer sex, things look far from change. Till the time, our women don’t teach their sons to treat daughters well, crime won’t stop. Till the time, mother doesn’t discriminate between her son and daughter, things won’t turn bright. We as a society need to sensitize the stronger sex to respect, love and above all value the opposite sex. The culprits were all within us and their act is an indication to the sickness our society is presently suffering from. Medications are needed to cure it and nothing works better than proper care to help recover.
Problem persists within women themselves. Women spend their whole lives antagonizing each other. They are their worst enemies. The attitude, “if I couldn’t how could she” needs a change. Women need to combine and support each other. Be their own support group and help each other’s grow.
A new year is setting in. We can atleast pledge to try, try to make the world a little better.


Pic Courtesy: Google Images

Hear no bad, see no evil, touch no good

Confidence is one good thing but overconfidence, oh boy, doesn’t do good to anyone. The line between the both is quite thin, too thin to walk and perhaps too blur to read in between. With one miss, you skip the warning signs and before you know, you’re in for a rude shock.
Just the way the people of my tribe are overconfident about the men in their lives. Now, truly yours, never has the intention to nurse your suspicions. Nor do I intend to recommend a career shift of ‘a private investigator’ to you. But it doesn’t pay to keep your senses working, does it?
A recent forced eavesdropping instigated to issue a warning to my unsuspecting tribe. Here how it goes:
The woman was loud, confident and maybe ruling the roost at home, my assumption, so forgive me if I’m wrong. She was as ordinary as you and me, engrossed in a boring conversation with her female relative. The pitch made it impossible to ignore but she was comfortable in making people a part of her life.
“No, we didn’t have a fight. Uh, Please! We never fight and I’m upset because of something else,” she declared. Even he is feeling low because I’m upset. You know him right? He is quiet and doesn’t socialize much. Now, since I’m two months in my pregnancy, he has become a different man. Come on, he has eyes only for me! He really takes care of me and helps me a lot.
“No, no, my tummy isn’t showing but I’m gaining weight,” she half-heartedly announced to the captive audience. But he says that he loves me the way I am. So am not dieting rather eating all that I crave for.
“You know, the maid left the job and he was so stressed about it”, she happily continued. I told him I’ll manage but he seems concerned and assured me that he’ll find a new one. Oh! I tried to raise her salary but she refused. The timings didn’t suit her and she wasn’t comfortable working when I wasn’t around. So she was pretty adamant to leave, you know these young maids, their tantrums and all. But he told me that the maid has found a new house to work. Just the opposite apartment and he spotted her working there. He seems to call her but she refused to even acknowledge him. See, how ungrateful they are?
That point of time, the entire audience moved to catch a glance of her. And I felt like giving her a statutory warning, “Woman, don’t be so sure.”

Pic Courtesy: Google Images

How old are you?

Women are never comfortable with age, most if not all. The moment you ask them about their age, there is a second of uncomfortable silence. They think and answer. Most give you a number which has remained static for the last five years. More you probe, more you run into trouble. Even the world around is not so kind to a aging woman. Numerous cosmetic products flood the market promising age-defying results. And the entire make believe world of ‘forever’ fool women to make a kill from their finances.
I, for once panicked two days back when I figured two grey strands pointing proudly towards me. Immediately, I pulled and dumped them out of view. Aging is a process beyond my control but the woman in me was trying to delay it. I would have continued feeling uncomfortable if I hadn’t chanced upon my yester year’s pictures. They were so crude with bushy eyebrows and outdated fashion. Then, I had no fashion sense with baby fat blooming to its best. The chubby cheeks earned me the tag of ‘golu’ rendering me a featureless face. No wonder, I attracted a lot of negative publicity with guys calling me ‘fatso’.
With every passing year, my pictures had a better story to tell. I was shedding the weight, with lots of effort, offcourse. Even the wild tresses were getting manageable, though they still have a mind of their own. The facial features were gaining prominence with the baby fat dissolving with age. My awareness contributed towards the diminishing volume of the eyebrows. Overall, age was treating me well. And sometimes I did manage few comments like ‘hot’ on my way. Made me offended at first go but then, the heart took a generous leap. Hey, I am getting better, folks!
I do believe that age is treating me well. I look better and behave better too. My perseverance level has gone up by zillions. My jean’s size has climbed down by several numbers. I can go clubbing without an identity card. My pay cheque is climbing uphill too. My writing skills are getting better with more life experiences. People take me more seriously because I make better sense.
Age is not that bad if you leave it alone. So let it grow and shower it generously on you. And next time somebody asks ‘how old are you’? Tell them the truth, nothing but the truth.

Pic Courtesy: Google Images

Calling names

We have a tradition of not calling our spouses, particularly the husbands, by their first names. So all you get to hear are women constantly referring to someone as ‘My That’ (Gosh, quite a struggle, even good old Google couldn’t find the exact English translation). No wonder why the spouses can’t understand our language! Quite understandable, he wouldn’t know that you’re talking to him. If the wisely Google can’t, how can the Godly man decipher your language?
I wonder, the logic behind it, when most of your adulthood you share with this person and you can’t even address him by his name, a name his parents has kept for him. The funny thing is if you do, his very parents might raise an objection for calling him so. A mark of respect, they say, and people of the older generations take pride on. Women proudly proclaim that they have never called their husbands by their names, gave him all sort of names like listenji (suniyeji), my Mister, papu ke papa (father of the child you created together), so and so’s uncle or whatever. Whatever it be, but not his name. Maybe that worked for them because they hardly had time to have a conversation with their Godly husbands for reasons beyond their control.
Now, when families have shrunk, countable head-counts and fewer members to open your heart to, the situation is no less similar. Mostly, men and women turn to their respective spouses to have friendly/unfriendly conversations with. Isn’t it confusing if you can’t address your partner (of good and bad times) with his name, the name that the world knows him with?
The situation gets even more confusing with more love marriages happening around. Your spouse, before tying the knot with you, is your friend or a friend’s relative etc. The minute you award him with the coveted title of a husband, he has to be addressed by vague names, atleast in public. And if you don’t do it, he isn’t offended at all, but the world around him, is. Even your own kin takes a surprising offence towards you. Result is that you spend tedious tutorial hours on the essence of respecting your better-half by not calling him by his own name, still acceptable if you can call him names when heading for a fight. But on good times, don’t dare please because the world is watching you. So what if you can call the President by his name or the PM by his name or your boss by his name but not him, because that’s a simple no-no in our tradition.
Those who dare to defy the rule, run the risk of being termed abrasive, stubborn and non-conformist. What role models you’ll become to the future generation if you call their father by their names? So fearing the future, sometimes wives succumb to re-naming their other halves and cutting them through too when times seek desperate measures. And what we end is overhearing funny conversations like, “My that, is a lazy lump who refuses to bat his eyelid on weekends and all I end up doing is work, more work.” Women, why do you complain? Has it ever occurred to you that the poor guy feels demeaned by your objectifying his entire existence? Try shouting his name from the farthest corner of your territory, and you’ll be surprised to see him running for refuge. He’ll feel good that you haven’t forgotten his human existence. Coax him to do your way by showing him the benefits of ‘being human’. If a famous celebrity can command charity work by opening a charity wing on this expression, you certainly can too. Make your spouse share the load with you, after all you are a star in his life. Think about it! And if he resists still, preach him on the significance of displaying humanity, am sure you’ll be delighted with his charitable missions.

Pic Courtesy: Google Images

My favourite gal

“I hate girls,” said the boy to his mother. All they do is give orders and make me work. And if I resist they just cry, cry till the teacher scold me. They always have their way out. They wear pink and go all red if I don’t let them play. Seriously, mom, I hate them all.
The mother smilingly asked, “But, I’m a girl too. So you hate me as well?” To this the boy held her face and looked, “No, I love you the most, you’re a girl but you ain’t like anybody else.” The mother felt the warmth of the tiny hands and kissed her child.
Time flew and our boy was now a teenager. He had many friends and spent most of his time over the phone. He got introduced to a new kind of love, a love called puppy love. Now, he liked girls. And a particular girl who became his first love. He spoke to her all the time, be it morning or be at nights. His girl friend kept him busy and had less time for his mom. His mom never complained, she knew the boy have started liking girls now. They kept him busy, too busy to listen to his mom.
The first time his heart broke, he cried again. Held his mom and said, “Mom, you’re the best and wish girls were like you.” She nodded and held him tight. Life continued and soon he wasn’t a boy. He became a man. He hated when tagged as ‘momma’s boy’ and cracked when girls said he needs to grow up.
He kept falling in love, one after the other. Heartaches happened but he never cried because somebody had told him that ‘men don’t cry’. He was a man who had to deal with each loss so he never ran to his mom to grieve every loss. The mother missed him, his touch and his warmth. She kept saying, “I miss you very much”.
Then one day, he found his real love. Got settled with the blessings from his mom. He got too engrossed in his own life. His work and wife took most of his time. Then the kids came along and life got busier than ever before. His visit to the mom got curtailed to once a month. The mother never complained and she was happy in his happiness. He continued being busy while his mom kept getting older by the day.
Soon her time came to bid farewell. She fell sick and was ready to leave. The son felt tensed when the moment arrived. He cried like a baby, holding her in his arms. Prayed that she lives longer because he realized that she still is his favourite girl. He kissed her after a long time and said, “Mom, I forgot to tell you that no girl is like you. Nobody loves me like you. Nobody understands me like you. Please don’t leave me, I’m scared.”
The frail mom looked at him and smiled, “Don’t worry sonny, you’ll just be fine. You’re a man who doesn’t hate girls anymore.”