Lots have been written on the difference between both the sexes. It’s a topic that never ceases to go out of fashion.
One stark difference I chanced upon between men and women is the perception about “marriage”. The marriage season never goes out of season in my country and I do encounter a lot of newly-weds on my business of living. The women are all bejeweled with every inch of their body covered in expensive gems and stones. The hands proudly display their newly attained status with more than dozen of bangles while the neck flashes the diamonds. Her every moment is made in an attempt to catch attention. She has the airs of a star and quite obviously she manages to attract the attention of quite a number of women. The married ones look at the jewellery pieces and try to gaze her financial position while the unmarried ones look at her in sheer envy, hoping to be in her shoes soon. Often, I have caught many unmarried ones making faces at the new wives. One good look and you could read their mind which shouts “When will my turn come”?
Quite opposite is the men’s take on marriage. They sympathize at the newly wedded couple where the husband is jostling with excess luggage (courtesy his wife’s shopping) and the woman looks blissfully happy, adding finishing touch to her already heavily made-up face. The much experienced men don’t shy away from giving the man their heartiest condolences through the unspoken expressions. And few brave hearts, even mutter their best wishes to the man for the luck he needs to walk through the marriage.
The remarkable approach speaks it all. Marriage implies different connotations to both the genders. In India, marriage is a road to freedom for the middle-class urban woman especially if she is living in a nuclear set-up. She can cook what she pleases and run errands, whenever she wants without an explanation. She runs the household without taking permission and goes shopping without being budgeted. Even socializing in the husband’s absence doesn’t seek any explanation. Atleast superficially, she lives free till the husband is in office. She is happy to make the most of it in the bargain of marriage and this keeps her happily-married. So what if she isn’t financially independent but she does have the scope to make some pocket money or steal few bucks from the husband’s pocket. And if she is really lucky, she ends up with a man who will happily bring his salary to her and even let her boss around. This newly acquired freedom is what the woman looks upto her entire life and what the unmarried ones aspire for. So, can we blame our women to look upto marriage?
For the men, marriage is the road that leads to ‘the end’. Till marriage, they were under the pampering of their mothers who were over-feeding and under-asking questions. They could come and go anytime because they were free. All the education and domestication were the expected KRA’s of the future wife. And society proudly announced, “Let him get married then he will change.” Even the parents would give him a free hand saying, “Let him enjoy till he gets married.” Now, when the society grooms men so anti-marriage how can you expect them to love it?
Whatever little remained unsaid were fully expressed through actions by the new bride. From the day she enters his life, he has to answer her. Whole day she calls not by his name but by screaming, “Are you listening ji?” The story doesn’t end there. He has to take her shopping, something he just despise. Suddenly, he can’t look at other women because the wife keeps watching him all the time. He has to not only share his bed but TV channels and even his bank statement with her. Sad part is that she doesn’t want to share the good things like his huge porn collection, playboy magazines, sports channel, chilled beer, chaddi buddies etc. It would have been still better if the matter would have stopped there but she bullies him to forego all these. Aww! So marriage begins with a lot of giving ups and what for, “free sex and freedom lost?” He regrets on being married and gets sadistic pleasure on seeing other men changing their status. “Why me alone?” he smiles in sarcasm.
Both the genders have reasons to their beliefs. It is intelligent not to blame them because such is life.
Pic Courtesy: Google Images
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