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Monday, November 18, 2013

Hey, you married?


I thought women are the only breed to face the pressure of getting married. “Who will marry you if you get any older?” is the familiar warning from your concerned lot. Even the not-so-concerned ones think about you all the time. And they will not hesitate to hide their disappointments in you, “Why? Aren’t you getting any proposals?”
Any less thick skinned would succumb to the pressure. Either will make a hurried choice or boycott social interactions. Few women go through an extreme mental depression and poor self-image. Quite understandably so, because there is a vast majority of people who seems to think that you’re unsettled if not married. This is the expected so women learn to live with it, if you’re one. Be happy to enjoy your singledom if marriage isn’t for you, but don’t commit until you’re ready for it, is my statutory warning. Marry for yourself and not for people around. A lesson I learnt from my mistake and an advice I generously circulate.
What struck me with wonder was the fact that even men go through this constant pressure of marriage. Family, friends, neighbours are no less sparing if you’re a man. These days they even stalk you with questions on your sexual preference, “Is everything okay with you? You like women, don’t you?”
My, my, we are getting modern and more so the neighbouring aunties who have only one KRA in their schedule, “to mind what is essentially not their business”. Your business is theirs; after all they don’t charge you for minding it. Social service they call, match-fixing and after that match-minding and even match-breaking. Guys, if you’re single be very weary of this tribe.
Rest of the job is taken care by the popular matrimonial websites. You just have to get registered once, life gets flooded with options then. Every morning they will hijack your mailbox with profiles and they will continue to hound even after you’ve married your children. If mailing you wasn’t enough, wait, they will call you continuously with sadder profiles. Sometimes they pass your contact numbers to the world and your phone keeps buzzing all the time with interview calls for matrimonial positions lying vacant.
Nobody asks for your opinion. Nobody wants to know whether you would like to surrender to the sanctity of marriage. Suddenly, the guy becomes a source of extreme pity or jealousy depending on the situation. For people of your tribe, they envy you because of your freedom and secretly wish of the same fate, like theirs. “How can He be happy enjoying all the freedom while we have to answer every move of ours to the wives? How can He have as many drinks as He wants without any home policing?”, so come on folks, let us pray for his martyrdom.
Women pity thinking of the inability of the guy to catch a nice babe. “Oh! He must be so lonely without the warmth of a wife. No one to tame him down hence he is so brash and unsophisticated.”
Who cares, if the guy made a conscious choice to remain single. Who cares, for his opinion when there are so many flooding to drown him down? People just assume that if you’re unmarried you are, well, unhappy.
Whoever cares for the happiness after marriage? You can’t be the odd one out because how can you be the poster boy of “happily unmarried”.
I sincerely acknowledge the efforts of the tribe of happily singles (men and women both) for braving out the minefields of curiosity, interrogations and impositions.


Pic Courtesy: Google Images

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