“Convent educated, working, homely, beautiful and very fair match wanted for a well-to-do conservative, traditional, will-not-eat-if-wife-doesn’t-cook type of a guy”
Maybe you’ll say this is an exaggerated version of mine on Indian men looking for their matches made in heaven to be materialized in earth. But reality is this and much more, and you can’t close your eyes to it. This is a fact that I pass by on my daily journey for existence.
The pressure on the fairer sex is surmounting considering the balancing act between professional and personal life. Because in today’s world, most parents educate their girls either to attract better prospects or for progressive reasons of financial independence. All boils down to the theory that bride is your real dowry. Not only she will shoulder the responsibilities by handing over her monthly salary plus contribute towards saving through cost-cutting on the house helps. So if you calculate she makes more money than a one-time amount given on dowry.
Most women work in double shifts. They slog at work and once back they do the same in their respective kitchens. What more could they do when the husband and in-laws develop allergies towards maid cooking? Being the responsibility bearer, her KRA is to feed her family well. So most times, the minute she walks in, she drops the bag and heads to the kitchen to make tea for the entire family. After all the loving husband declares openly that he can’t survive without the tea his wife makes.
Thus, off she marches to her domain, cooking and getting cooked in the process. The entire household rejoices in her sweat. She knows about everybody’s taste and favourites but nobody can tell of her favourites. And if you question them, the answer is convenient “how do we know, she never tells”. Where is the time for her to tell?
She can report sick at work and earn a day’s sick leave but home is a different tale. The same woman can’t afford to fall sick. Because if she does the whole household will come to a standstill. Her husband loves her too much and can’t do a single thing without her. Her in-laws love her lots to be able to not miss her presence. So she prays every night to not fall sick, not for her but for them. Who will take care of them if she is ill?
Not to forget, the conversations with the in-laws to give them their grandson. After all their surname is too eminent to be kept alive, long after they are gone. Only a grandson carries forward the family name. So go for a child that too a son irrespective of their support in helping her to bring up her child. You’re a multitasker and by now a great trapeze artist. Hence, they are over confident you’ll manage.
The husband sites financial reasons to support another life. So what if it’s your child but you need to spend to be able to maintain. If you are so keen then let’s have a child but you just can’t quit working. Your additional income is required to bear the additional responsibility.
Our wife leads a sandwiched life between the wishes of her in-laws and the ambition of the husband. Nobody even bothers to know about her wants in life and even she is too busy to find about her wishes. She goes with the flow and does what others expect.
This is life for most members of my tribe, admit it or not. The pressure of being a woman is tremendous and most of us don’t have a choice. Liberation is a nice word which is the feel-good-factor of our lives. But what it means is unknown, sadly to most of us.
Thank goodness I’m out of this matrimonial show. I wasn’t ever a showstopper, you know!
Pic Courtesy: Google Images
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