Haves of happiness, have-nots of wealth

The world around is busy chasing around. Most after money, some after fame, rest after skirts and fewer after happiness. I belong to the not-so-common last category. And I take pride in it, so what if my folks think I am ‘not worldly’. I have no investments to bank on, no claims to claim long after I’m gone.
But till the time I’m here, I’m in pursuit of happiness. And that comes with days of living unhappily. I tried my best to cope and adjust. In the end my zest for life got me back and I learnt that no amount of adjustments is worth sacrificing your happiness. In the end, we all need to live happily ever-after. Maybe, ever-after is more than two words but certainly worth a goal for lifetime.
The evening views of the slums nearby reinstate my belief in the theory of being happy. I see the have-nots live their life minus the comforts, minus the power even minus the privacy. Yet, they are happy in their lives. The men come back from a hard day at work and very lovingly babysit the kids so that their women can cook the simple meals. They help their women in the daily chores. Some even cook and clean. Whoever thought that Indian men don’t share the household burden didn’t mean this class for sure. Because on a daily basis I do see these uneducated men happily trying to ease the pressure off their equally uneducated women. And we still call them uneducated, education can’t be just about the ability to read and write?
Could we say the same for the highly educated and career-oriented men all around? Sagas of their indifference towards their working partners are told and shared. Most middle class ladies even joke about working on a double shift, one paid for, another unpaid and unaccounted for. Few who do manage to break the norms help discreetly and are often embarrassed if caught in the act. “Oh! He is so hen-pecked”, is the label they fear from. Is this the purpose of education when you are blinded of any empathy for your better half who is struggling to finish the chores? Exceptions do exist but we need to increase the numbers.
My perception of the slums being a hotspot for wife-beating or any kind of abusive relationship has also been proved wrong. Wouldn’t say that they don’t exist but I am still to witness one in my over few months of sharing the neighbourhood. Above all when I peep into their lifestyle, I know I will be fine. Their living amidst nothing, still replete with bliss tells me the price I paid for happiness was worth every dime. And each day towards the end when I look at them, they rejuvenate my tiring soul. They tell me that I will be fine as long as I am happy. Because happiness is the real wealth that lasts. Rest comes at its own sweet time and goes even before you realize. What say?


Pic courtesy: Google Images

Happy Bijoya!

His routine is fixed. You can match your clock with his timings. Immaculately dressed, he comes to work at dot 8 am and works diligently till 11 am followed by a fruit for snack. Never skips his lunch at 1 pm. Eats the same good old home cooked meal prepared carefully and packed diligently with different bowls allocated for a proper four course meal. Has won consecutive awards for being the ‘Best Employee’ and never misses a deadline. He is the eye of everyone’s envy. Just the perfect man-polished and successful.
5 in the evening he performs a hurried puja at his desk to his favourite deity, Maa Durga. Then leaves the office at sharp 5.30 pm. Come cyclone or an earthquake, nothing shakes his daily routine.
The sound of his car nearing the driveway at home makes his family shudder in fear. The kids switch off the television and hide themselves beyond their course books to avoid him. Wife gets or pretends to be busy in the kitchen. Even his old mother is scared of him. She closes her eyes and pretends to chant prayers to the Almighty to avoid any interactions.
Dinner is served to him at sharp 8 pm. They all dread that moment because all the kids get to hear is the sound of crashing plates and dishes. The father screaming at their mother, “Woman, what do you do the whole day if you can’t cook? The rotis are so thick and the subji is so bland, didn’t your mother teach you how to please your husband?”
Only his voice would echo in the house. The wife keeps quiet and like a robot cleans the mess he created. Then once the cleaning is done, calls the rest to have a quiet dinner at kitchen. The mother prefers to eat in the sanctity of her room.
The alarm bell breaks the silence of the home every morning at 4 am. And if you think, the alarm is set for him, well it is for the wife to wake up and fix a bed tea for her man. She has to put off the alarm as soon as it rings else the man will get furious to be disturbed by the sound. She gives him his no-sugar, no-milk tea and goes in preparation for his daily morning puja ritual for his favourite deity, Maa Durga. Cleans herself, mops the puja room and never forgets to miss any single detail because if she does. Then her morning will begin with a tight slap and her man shouting, “Didn’t your mother teach you to do anything, you are such a lazy wretched woman?”
The morning mundane tires her. Everything has to be on time and elaborate, irrespective of any personal or natural calamity. Her world takes a breather when he eventually leaves for work at dot 7.30 am. Knowing that the curfew will begin again at 6 pm. In between she lives, telling herself, “Atleast I am better than the maid, he doesn’t kick me out and I have a roof over my head.”
All this for Maa Durga?


Pic courtesy: Google Images

Mind it!

Today, a new brief from the chief graced our workstation. A brief that the servicing folks were asked to fill and their creative counterparts will drill their brains to reach to the desired derivatives. Now, in my world of advertising, communication pays for our bills. But the irony is that miss-communication between the creative and servicing can kill the figure in those bills. Whenever there is a miss involved, distractions are inevitable. Hence, the need for a happening brief was felt. Hope it doesn’t remain just a feeling, but becomes a fast practice among the colleagues.
The challenge is that most guys in servicing (with due respect) are scared of the mighty power of the pen. They come from the client and just puke their client’s response at us, sometimes so random that I am left too shocked to clean the mess. And trust me this mess stinks, pretty badly, when concept after concept keep getting bounced, especially when we keep facing fast bowlers crunch in the team. Isn’t it criminal?
But that is life and every creative person is never cool with rejection, be it personal or professional. So we blame the servicing and the client for being uncool and boring. While the servicing blames us for being non-creative and still drawing attention (fatter salaries). The war and passing on the virus from one to another is legendary. Many sacrifices have been made towards this battle with people losing their most prized possessions, even their ponytails. But the saga continues in every agency…
The brief in the limelight had some interesting points to cover. Among them the most controversial one (if you take literally) is the phrase “what keeps the client awake at night”. Imagine a good looking servicing executive (read female) asking that to a pot-bellied, middle-aged client. She’ll question, “Sir, what keeps you awake at night?” He will slyly reply, more sure than ever before, “You, sweetie.”
Oops, shall we go for a debrief?


Image courtesy: Google

Happy wala luv

On popular demand, this time a happy one. So happy that this will make you cry with joy.
There’s a love story with a happy ending. Boy interviewed the girl, gave her the job. She reported to him for days at a stretch. They met to discuss work. They discussed briefs which were too brief. Discussions became endless as did the projects. From one night out to another followed. Then one day, when the work happened till the wee hours, he dropped her home. Soon the late nights became a routine and he kept dropping her back. She started enjoying the ride and he, her company.
The days she wouldn’t come to office, he found the days a little too long to carry. The deadlines a little too tight and the irritation level a little too high. One day when she dropped her resignation letter for a better offer, the realization dawned on him. He was happy for her because the break was good and didn’t want to stop her. But something felt miserable. The fear of not seeing her face every morning shook him heavily. Yet, he didn’t know how to address the problem. After all, he was the boss and bosses are never known to miss their subordinates. He decided to take a break to fix his mind.
He was missing for almost a week then. She started missing him. His instructions, his bossism, his criticism of her work and everything about him. Bosses are never missed but why this misery within? She kept wondering and no answer came. She didn’t want to call him and he wasn’t willing to be disturbed. The deadlock was too much to handle. And everyone around them could feel the heat.
The colleagues decided that the situation was grim and getting grimmer with temperatures soaring high. Something needed to be done immediately for the larger goodness of humankind. A genius came with an idea to set them on a date without letting them know. The boss was requested to meet a client on an emergency basis at an upmarket restaurant. The girl was called to meet a client as emergency filler due to the boss’s absenteeism on the same restaurant. Both went and found each other waiting for the same client. The client didn’t show up but they made the most of the opportunity given. No proposal was made yet they knew that they were tied for life. They started seeing each other and the office suddenly became a better place to live.
She left the old to join the new office. And they started being with each other through the malls, movies, exhibitions, restaurants etc. More they met, more they wanted to meet each other. They wanted to wake up to each other and spend the rest of their lives together. Marriage was inevitable. They did marry against all odds.
Today, he watches her sleep like a baby. She listens to the comforting snores without which sleep refuses to embrace her. They fight a lot but still can’t live without talking to each other. When he shouts, she listens and when she erupts he discreetly disappears from the scene. But what matters most is that they can’t think of a life without each other.
He wakes up much before her. And before he goes to work, his job is to fix her tea and breakfast. Sometimes when she oversleeps and gets ready in a hurry. He even feeds her like his baby. She checks on him to find out if he hasn’t skipped his lunch. She lets him party but gets worried if he has overindulged. Babies never came in to the story because fate never let them have one. Yet, they don’t miss having one because they have learnt to babysit each other.
Are you all happy now?

Pic courtesy: Google

Let the festivities begin

The morning began with the all-so-familiar enchanting of the tale of Goddess Durga’s victory over Mahisasura, Mahalaya, as every Bengali household calls it. I had almost forgotten the prelude to the celebrations due to years of living alone; hence, nostalgia of the past took me on a trip to my childhood.
Every year we would eagerly wait for the Durga Puja with sheer anticipation of good times. The festivities meant nothing spiritual just pure undiluted fun minus the studies. Months before the shopping would begin; the special four days meant new clothes on each day. I came from a modest background; hence, meticulous planning was required to ensure that I have enough clothes to wear in the mornings and evenings of those four special days.
And when the days would arrive, we would hold on to every hour praying that the days shouldn’t end. Parents would be busy in shouldering the community responsibilities, while we kids would be busy fooling around and sampling the food in the stalls. Little older ones were busy chasing the attention of the opposite sex, plain painless flirtations would keep them entertained. The more arty ones would take the local platform to showcase their talents while boring the less talented ones (like me). Parents of the gifted ones would proudly announce their achievements making life really tough for people like me. All I would get to hear were comparative analysis of how bright my peer group was and still I couldn’t be inspired by my parents. Tough cookie that I was!
Then came the adolescence years when I thought nobody could look better than me. And Puja days gave me the platform to showcase my beauty (that the world was blind to). These were also those few days, when my conservative background, gave me a free ticket to fashion. I had the liberty to apply nail paint and lipstick without raising eyebrows. And I made the most of it. Any attention was welcomed and my eyelids would batter more, seeing some encouraging glances.
A sudden turn took in my tale with my adulthood days; I started evading the communal meet-ups. Because they became breeding grounds to the numerous marriage proposals and I had high dreams of a knight in shining armor coming to my rescue. The knight didn’t arrive and the proposals died down too. Age daunted on me and the festivities stopped exciting me. Now, they have become few days in the calendar which may/may not translate into off-days at work.
Wishing you all a very Happy & Eventful Durga Puja!

Tit for Tat

Once upon a time, women in relationships wanted commitment read marriage here. They were scared that the man will soon dump her for other greener pastures and she will be left with,”log kya kahenge?”
Maybe the sex ratio was healthier then and there were more choices for men. Maybe we were slightly more in number; maybe we never tasted real freedom then. Maybe neighbours were too nosy then.
Men had their share of fun and wandered freely, not that they have stopped wandering now. Habits are difficult to change, hence, don’t expect a drastic change anytime sooner.
The tables are turning now. So men, be prepared to get a taste of your own medicine. With depleting sex ratio and increasing financial independence of the fairer sex, watch out guys!

The women of the present, is as commitment phobic as men from the past. They love sex like men, would not hesitate to bed you. But that is exactly what they need sometimes. One night stands, flings have flooded the vocabulary of the modern women. They love everything that is easy to love in life, mostly expensive (I must mention). They love their jobs, career but most importantly they love their freedom. So pleasure is important but not at the price of marriage, in many cases. They never shy away from dumping you because they know they are fewer in numbers. One goes, the other is bound to come knocking down. So nothing but the best will do for them.

Oops! Is it scary? Indeed, if I was a man of the today’s time. Knowing that the competition is fierce, scarcity is real so obviously would try to cling and ensure that atleast one is guaranteed through marriage. But the moment, you utter the magic words, she disappears.

Things are harsher for you, guys! Times are changing and maybe this is the payback time!

U-Turns

My life was a smooth highway and I often complained, “so boring, will there ever be a turn in this long route, why is it so straight?” Little did I know then, that the Almighty was listening with a whole lot of intent. Even before I could realize, life took a whole new U-turn and ever since I am going in circles. My head spins with surprises but I can’t complain. After all I asked for it.
It began with my physical transformation, first. From a fatso I became the sexy babe, people had no hesitation in labeling me as “hot”. Oops, too much to handle for a girl who couldn’t manage to make even a head turn in her prime. To a thirty plus woman flooded with compliments who don’t look her age. Come on, I exercised and followed strict diet schedule. Nobody noticed the hard work?
Second, came a jolt in my relationship status. I became single, sooner. And I would have enjoyed the singledom, only if I was available. I just didn’t know how to be available, call me what you may but all the attention was not my cup of tea. I succumbed to the pressure and made a wrong choice. This turning point became the steepest and I am back to square. I have no regrets though because I tried. So what if I failed, but it is my life and I am allowed to make mistakes. Can’t I?
Age hasn’t mellowed down my spirits. I would still like to dance, hang out with friends, be in a relationship and everything that the younger lot eyes for. Aren’t failures allowed to live life? Do I have to perish like the rest; lonely, sad, depressed and suicidal. So what if I am not someone’s wife, someone’s mother, someone’s daughter-in-law blah blah. I am still that daddy’s girl who loves pink, loves Cadbury’s, mushy romantic movies and dying to get a bouquet of red roses. Being on the wrong side of age can’t change my gender, can it?
I never started with the intention of breaking the standards but life just bumped into series of accidents which broke set patterns. I tried and failed. So be it. Does it mean I lead a dream-less life?