Calling names

We have a tradition of not calling our spouses, particularly the husbands, by their first names. So all you get to hear are women constantly referring to someone as ‘My That’ (Gosh, quite a struggle, even good old Google couldn’t find the exact English translation). No wonder why the spouses can’t understand our language! Quite understandable, he wouldn’t know that you’re talking to him. If the wisely Google can’t, how can the Godly man decipher your language?
I wonder, the logic behind it, when most of your adulthood you share with this person and you can’t even address him by his name, a name his parents has kept for him. The funny thing is if you do, his very parents might raise an objection for calling him so. A mark of respect, they say, and people of the older generations take pride on. Women proudly proclaim that they have never called their husbands by their names, gave him all sort of names like listenji (suniyeji), my Mister, papu ke papa (father of the child you created together), so and so’s uncle or whatever. Whatever it be, but not his name. Maybe that worked for them because they hardly had time to have a conversation with their Godly husbands for reasons beyond their control.
Now, when families have shrunk, countable head-counts and fewer members to open your heart to, the situation is no less similar. Mostly, men and women turn to their respective spouses to have friendly/unfriendly conversations with. Isn’t it confusing if you can’t address your partner (of good and bad times) with his name, the name that the world knows him with?
The situation gets even more confusing with more love marriages happening around. Your spouse, before tying the knot with you, is your friend or a friend’s relative etc. The minute you award him with the coveted title of a husband, he has to be addressed by vague names, atleast in public. And if you don’t do it, he isn’t offended at all, but the world around him, is. Even your own kin takes a surprising offence towards you. Result is that you spend tedious tutorial hours on the essence of respecting your better-half by not calling him by his own name, still acceptable if you can call him names when heading for a fight. But on good times, don’t dare please because the world is watching you. So what if you can call the President by his name or the PM by his name or your boss by his name but not him, because that’s a simple no-no in our tradition.
Those who dare to defy the rule, run the risk of being termed abrasive, stubborn and non-conformist. What role models you’ll become to the future generation if you call their father by their names? So fearing the future, sometimes wives succumb to re-naming their other halves and cutting them through too when times seek desperate measures. And what we end is overhearing funny conversations like, “My that, is a lazy lump who refuses to bat his eyelid on weekends and all I end up doing is work, more work.” Women, why do you complain? Has it ever occurred to you that the poor guy feels demeaned by your objectifying his entire existence? Try shouting his name from the farthest corner of your territory, and you’ll be surprised to see him running for refuge. He’ll feel good that you haven’t forgotten his human existence. Coax him to do your way by showing him the benefits of ‘being human’. If a famous celebrity can command charity work by opening a charity wing on this expression, you certainly can too. Make your spouse share the load with you, after all you are a star in his life. Think about it! And if he resists still, preach him on the significance of displaying humanity, am sure you’ll be delighted with his charitable missions.

Pic Courtesy: Google Images