Easy ain't EASY

‘Easy’ never came easy to me. In life, at work, wherever I went. What people get on a platter, I had to starve myself to get some share. My fate or the force above just ensured that I have a hard time.
I was trouble the moment I stepped into this world. I gave my mom quite a difficult time, when she conceived me. I gave her an even difficult time on the labour room. And later, my dad spent many sleepless nights, just to put me to sleep.
The growing up years weren’t easy either. Every year was a new school for me and by the end of the session when I had just managed to make few friends; another new school would be waiting for me. The result being that I remained friendless most of my schooling years. College remained constant but the everyday travel was another saga better untold.
Job did happen and I managed to keep up the jobs too. But whenever an appraisal was expected, the company would do badly and although not my fault, I never managed to get my share of the extra work and night-outs.
Love life was even more agonizing. It always ended up in one disaster after the other. My failures could inspire a movie dedicated on love lost. The impact has been so legendary that my own people have acknowledged that I am incapable of being loved.
To top it all, I was born very average with no-killing looks to melt million hearts. Hence, no Samaritan comes my way to take my fall or make life a little easy for me. The only way it has been is to work hard, harder. And I know complaining will solve nothing at all. As if God is saying, “this is the way for you, take it or leave it.” Even leaving is not in my hands, so ‘taking all’ is the only option.
Yet, one thing that keeps me going is my undying spirit to get up and move on. The ability to dream and believe that good things will come to me, even if it is taking a long while than usual. The tenacity to tell myself that my time will come.
It hasn’t come by now and don’t know whether it’ll come at all.