If n Me

“If” is a favourite with people who genuinely care about me. And they use it so generously with me that sometimes I really admire the inventor of this word. The world wouldn’t be what it is without the many “ifs” of our lives.

Deep down the memory lanes, I still hear my baba (read dad) uttering his favourite one-liner, “if only you listened to me”. Such was the magic of this word that it made me even more determined to never listen to him. Today, I do regret and tell myself, “if only I would have listened to him.”

Several times later I heard my teachers declaring in numerous meeting with the parents, “if only she could get out of the maths phobia…”. What it did to me is for everyone to witness. I developed an allergy towards the subject that till date I am left uncured off. My milkman, newspaper guy and the grocery fellow are the real winners for my inability to figure out simple calculations. No doubt, the newspaper guy bought a new bike. The milkman is a proud owner of a brand new car. As far as the grocery guy goes, safer to skip the part.

In more recent times, the hubby also gives me an extra large dosage of this word. His favourite being, “if only you would have controlled your temper”. And like every happily married couple, it usually doesn’t end at that. Obviously we fight. (Come on) the world should know we are married for life.

As far as self-introspection goes, I do admit that I often say to myself, “if only I would have studied that bit harder, if I had killer looks to get away with even a murder, if I was born earlier where there was less competition…”. I could go on till eternity.

Seriously, world wouldn’t had been a better place to live without the “IFS”.

Give me a break minus the Kitkat

One of those days when I seriously ponder about my choice of a career. Now, before you get me wrong, let me come out clean. I am a “Copywriter” and I love what I am doing. But most times I don’t get to do anything. Reasons are numerous and these are some that might make sense but most are incomprehensible:

Client has an undying passion to write which couldn’t get fulfilled in the pursuit of a lucrative career. So finds that this is the right channel to revive the undying hobby. (Now, I always knew that good luck doesn’t have a liking for me.)
The Art guy feels the copy is long and comes to his own conclusion that it demands an encroachment on specialization. So, takes the free hand (without my knowledge) to assault. (Although, I am the only one he pleads for when there is a mail to compose.)
“Who reads the copy anyways?” is my friendly Client’s comment. And after all he is paying to run the show. So off comes the scissor that literally tears away my labour of love and mindless hours of hardwork.
“The TG wouldn’t understand.” is the Servicing guy’s precious feedback that I should take professionally (nothing personal). Although he questions my creativity whenever his dwindling sale figures gifts him a backlash from the big brothers.
The big brother who is extremely market savvy (but hardly visits the market) and is the supreme blessed one. Knows the latest trend. So this month he has proclaimed “Two worded headlines” as victorious. Last month “Full two sentence headlines” were the trend. So anybody who mentions about market surveys now knows whom to contact.

Just few of the professional hazards. Everyone seems to write well apart from me. Who needs a copywriter in this world? Are you in the same boat as me? Do write then.

I’m loving it

I’ve a confession to make. I’ve arrived on my early 30’s and I am not a least bit less enthusiastic about it. Rather I am more forthcoming than I was when I reached the 20 mark.

Hey, these are some of the listed reasons for my elated mood:

• Your age doesn't tell on you (God bless them all)
• Am more aware of what looks good on me and most importantly of what doesn’t
• No pressure to have a rich (but not so rich on the IQ department) boyfriend
• The realization that suddenly my opinion is also being asked for
• Freedom to skip parties hinting the crowd was not my type
• No constant reminders from well-wishers to “settle down”
• Having the last laugh in witnessing everybody getting married
• Sporting “the know it all” look even though I ain’t got a clue
• Finally getting to preach others “I told u so”
• Having a car of my own and the freedom to bang it (after all I am paying the bill)
• The admiring looks of men much younger coz that’s the trend these days

The list is endless and the feeling is special too. Next time don’t hesitate to ask her age. You never know she might be waiting for u to ask.

See you soon

(Note: I missed my maternal uncle on 9th Jan,2010. He was a pillar of strength to all of us in the family. This is an ode to him.)

You stood like a rock holding our hands,

Giving us the courage to carry on,

Leading us to belief that “Yes, we can”.

You taught what family truly meant,

You fought for us through the sufferings and pain,

With a smile that said, “Don’t worry, I’m fine”.

And suddenly you’re just gone.

To be with our Mami who meant so much.

Creating a hollow no time can fill.

May you both be together forever and ever.

Spreading love like you’ve always done.

As we keep waiting to meet you in the next lifetime.

The heart says, “No, you can’t be gone.”

For how can you stay away from us for so long?

It happens only in India

Love us or leave us. Certain things are peculiar of the Indian in us. Take for instance our inclination towards anything that’s chaotic in nature. And what’s even typical is our ability to move on despite the world crumbling around us.
For those who choose to differ, how about the numerous break-ins you got involved to get that movie ticket before anybody else? Or the utter chaos you created in your attempt to reserve your seat in the bus? What’s even heart breaking is that all your efforts goes for a royal toss when a damsel in distress self-appoints you as her knight in shinning arm to point at you, ’ladies seat’. You leave the seat. But never mind. Tomorrow comes and you continue to do the same.
Just the other day, the H and I went for the much married type of shopping (monthly grocery). The air was politically tense but that didn’t deter us to venture out. The moment we picked the first stuff from the unending list, trouble started. Stones were pelted and glasses were broken. We were huddled in one corner for few minutes. However, the spine chilling action was too much to miss. Not only us but everyone in the mall decided to not be just mere supporting actors in this real life drama.
Guess how did we contribute in the action sequence? We kept on shopping like there’s no tomorrow. Running from one corner to another, none of us gave a heed to the broken pieces of glasses lying scattered all over the place or the slogans of the activists shouting outside. It took us to a new high and needless to say I got carried away with my part. And overshot my budget.
At the end, it took the closing announcement from the authorities to drive us out. Else we would have attained our much awaited stardom…

Today is not the day

Today is one such day when I am just not upto it. Lost in thought with complete loss of words. Nothing seems to be in place. Neither my mind nor my heart.

All I want to do is pack-up and go to a place in Lonely Planet where solitude would greet me with open arms. Mallless and mobile free world where I can completely enjoy the company of me. No responsibilities. No expectations. No holding back.

Do you also feel the same at times? Do let me if know if I’m the only odd one out?

Break Time

Of family gatherings and endless pampering
Of mouth-watering delicacies
Of sweets that I never get to eat otherwise
Of mindless shopping and reckless haggling
Of cousins exchanging notes
Of lengthy conversations in ‘oh-so-my-language’
Of adda sessions that never seems to end
Of days filled with celebrations
Of days without any deadline to rush

This was a vacation much different.
No planning. No sight seeing.
Just bonding with the roots I’ve forgotten.
With Tagore songs.
With Bangla literature.
With everything I’ve not done for quite some time.

Indeed my heart cries for ‘more’.
So I’m left waiting for the next opportunity to come.