If n Me

“If” is a favourite with people who genuinely care about me. And they use it so generously with me that sometimes I really admire the inventor of this word. The world wouldn’t be what it is without the many “ifs” of our lives.

Deep down the memory lanes, I still hear my baba (read dad) uttering his favourite one-liner, “if only you listened to me”. Such was the magic of this word that it made me even more determined to never listen to him. Today, I do regret and tell myself, “if only I would have listened to him.”

Several times later I heard my teachers declaring in numerous meeting with the parents, “if only she could get out of the maths phobia…”. What it did to me is for everyone to witness. I developed an allergy towards the subject that till date I am left uncured off. My milkman, newspaper guy and the grocery fellow are the real winners for my inability to figure out simple calculations. No doubt, the newspaper guy bought a new bike. The milkman is a proud owner of a brand new car. As far as the grocery guy goes, safer to skip the part.

In more recent times, the hubby also gives me an extra large dosage of this word. His favourite being, “if only you would have controlled your temper”. And like every happily married couple, it usually doesn’t end at that. Obviously we fight. (Come on) the world should know we are married for life.

As far as self-introspection goes, I do admit that I often say to myself, “if only I would have studied that bit harder, if I had killer looks to get away with even a murder, if I was born earlier where there was less competition…”. I could go on till eternity.

Seriously, world wouldn’t had been a better place to live without the “IFS”.