Dear Daughter

You are a daughter I am extremely proud of. You have given me ample reasons to be so. You are educated, cultured, honest, generous and successful. You are nothing less than a son to me, by your own rights. You’ve never fallen short of shouldering the responsibilities and given us many occasions to smile. You’ve brighten our lives with your love and laughter. You are our only child because you gave us no reasons to have another.
I still remember the day you were born. Though, my folks weren’t a pleased lot. They said, “Start saving from now on, you have a daughter now.” I wouldn’t deny that I got worried too with my financial situation that point of time. But the moment I set my eyes on you, your beautiful eyes washed my worries. Your smile reflected my soul and I knew you are mine. Your tiny fingers held mine and I promised myself, “I will take care of you like the most cherished gift I’ve ever had.” I couldn’t have predicted the future but I knew I had to educate you even if I had to sell the last drop of my blood. Because I don’t want a life like my mother or her mother, for you. And the only key is to educate you and empower you to write your own destiny.
Your mother had other thoughts, she being a woman, had her own fears. She wanted us to save money for your marriage but I put my foot down. Marriage can’t be the be-it-all for my daughter, I protested. I wanted to give you the best of education and wings to fly. Compete with men and look into their eyes. Show them you ain’t any less, if not superior. And then marry a man who recognizes and respects you for what you are. Not someone who judges you with your skin-colour, looks and wholesomeness. You are an individual first, never forget that. I love the fact that you didn’t disappoint me on this at all. Rather you flew high on the wings I could offer.
Your mother is proud of you too, no less than me. She looks upto you and says the neighbour, “look at my daughter.” She isn’t bothered about your dowry anymore but thanks me for not listening to her. She wishes her dad was like me, so extra brownie point for me, you know how difficult is it to win appreciation from my wife. So, thanks for keeping me in good picture. Any fault of mine gets overshadowed by your conquests and I can bathe in your glory.
My only worry is that the world isn’t getting any better for you. Every time you get late, I get worried. Every time you get busy to not being able to call, I worry a lot. I spend sleepless nights thinking about the intolerance towards daughters like you. Be it the educated or the uneducated, women have fallen prey to inexplicable crimes. I worry every moment for your well-being in this madness of our times. I know you get irritated with my repeated calls and all I say is “be a parent first then you’ll realize.” I trust you the most, my child. But I can’t trust the people around.
You are my real treasure and wish God had given me many more daughters. But then I question myself, “Would I’ve been able to protect them all?”
In a world where daughters are the most destroyed lot, how can a proud father, like me, be not scared? How will this world look without daughters around? Without daughters to warm lives with their touch of care and love?
I pray that day doesn’t arrive, at all. Till then, my daughter, be safe because I can’t protect you, everywhere.


Pic courtesy: Google Images

His way or the highway

Total madness had embraced work. Deadlines are rendering the entire team dead and sleep-deprived. Gosh! Why do we have to work so hard?
In between the chaos, I stepped out in hope of getting a little bit of sanity back. And boy, there he was unaware of the worries of the world, the economic downfall, the inflated inflation, the tight shoe-string budgets, the…so many things of life. Nothing would faze him, neither the noise of nothing or the chaos of commotions. Sleeping in bliss amidst the soothing sun that is such a source of delight during the winters.
Handsome, headstrong and happening; he lay in full glory displaying his manhood and oblivious to the limelight. My heart leapt in sheer envy looking at his style. His demeanor remained unchanged throughout my short encounter. Without a worry or joy of a woman’s gaze, he, was enjoying his siesta. Tell me, how many can handle so much attention? Look around in the news. Even the rich and the famous don’t have immunity towards their weaknesses. So down they fall making headlines that they have no option but the sudden step down. And even that isn’t enough because there is no tolerance for a fall in the human kingdom.
On the contrary, here, my subject of attention was just living in the moment where even a woman can’t make him sit up and take notice. He didn’t even bother to respond to my callings or acknowledge the presence. It takes a man, I guess, to be so strong to ignore attention.
Then I remembered, why not, after all he could afford because he didn’t belong to our breed. He was a dog who had no objectives to meet. A dog that was happy to be and ready to take a risk for survival. We claim we are the superior animal but in this corporate craziness, are we really in a leading position?
I don’t believe it holds true in today’s times because we have to slog like a dog. But hey, whoever said ‘like a dog’ needs to re-think. Because dogs don’t need to work as hard as we do. They have many lovers who feed them and take care of their needs. Like a woman near my office who keeps coming and feed them food during lunch hours. The menu looks sumptuous too, more appetizing than food sometimes cooked in the office kitchen. I wish I could say the same for us. We have to slog to feed our hunger, pay the bills and indulge in good things. It looks that the dog has a better life than we-slaves of worldly gains. Their needs are none so they don’t have to run after them. All they have to do is wag their tails and look adorable. Food comes to them and so does many good things.
What say, are we the real dogs in today’s world?


Pic courtesy: Google Images

Shouldn't the Goodbyes be Good?

Human bonds are no different especially the ones we build ourselves rather than those we were born to. I have witnessed many blood relatives quenching their thirst in the blood of each other (quite almost). And the next moment of crisis, they stick to each other like the good old Fevicol. Maybe that is the beauty of biology.
Wonder, why can’t the same be in relationships which we choose? One unpleasantness and parting ways becomes the only option. Even worse, the parting is not always pleasant be it among friends or lovers. The good memories die sudden death and all that is left is bitterness, more bitterness. Soon before you realize your friends become your chosen foes. Both of you ensure that life gets no less easy. You bad mouth, gossip, stalk, hack or do anything to make life more miserable.
Relationships are worse. You separate your beds, belongings, pets, homes, kids and even parents cum in-laws. You derive pleasure in hurting where it hurts most. You attack everything you can get hold of. Women go to the extent of sucking out cash from their partner’s account without his knowledge. By the time he gets to know, he is bankrupt. Men stalk their women which includes hiring a Detective Agency to follow the tracks, hack their social and professional accounts, overall feed their fears and make the most out of it. Result is that she gives up because sanity is the most precious commodity of life.
What is it that we have no respect for the ex? Once upon a time, the same person was the most special. Does the basic feeling of respect lose in front of vengeance? The love that bonded seems to die of a catastrophic heart failure. All that is left is emotional ruins that take time to re-build. Admitted, that partings aren’t pleasant even in the animal kingdom. They fight each other and sometimes lose their battles in hatred. Still they respect each other and acknowledge the loss. They don’t continue to keep wounding the wounds, like we the greater species do. Once defeated, they leave the loser to its own fate. But here, even the society doesn’t miss a chance to inflict pains. We as social animals love the failures of others. We probe till the person cracks. We entertain each other at somebody else’s expense. And if that isn’t enough, we even try to take advantage of the hapless situation. Happily married men get a high in harassing the recently single woman, knowing her defense is weakest. Snide remarks on her status become the most regular feature. And if she complains all she hears, “Come on, that was just a joke you’re over-reacting, you should move faster and get open.” So what if she finds that suddenly all men start hitting on her and age holds no bar, by the way. Society just assumes that she is single so she is ready to mingle. Nobody bothers for her opinion though. Her business becomes yours.
As for the man, he becomes another case study of failures even though he might be meeting his targets. We wait for one slip and we fire him. Telling him, “You need a break to sort out things.” It doesn’t matter that he must be the most sorted out guy but we tell ourselves, “If he can’t manage his wife how can he manage clients?”

PS: I know the post isn’t as happy as I aim for. But the need to pen down my pent up emotions were too strong this time.


Pic Courtesy: Google Images

The Twist

Life isn’t complicated. We complicate it. Whether you agree or not but do consider some thought on the various knots we’ve have tied ourselves to. The societal, the family, the professional and various other pressures that we inflict on ourselves.
Lately, I encountered one such episode, a story worth telling. And this is how it goes (won’t be giving names here as I respect the privacy of people involved).
She was the typical poster girl of wifey material. The ones who would sacrifice their careers, their happiness, their social life, their routine blah blah…for their husbands. The ones that any guy would love to take home to meet their mothers because she could be easily tamed, without a threat to the matriarch. A sure-shot marriage material. Docile, domesticated, dedicated to every cause in life.
She was extremely worried and asked yours truly advice on shopping for the right match in the marriage market. And I who’s never been successful in my findings jumped at this opportunity. Why wouldn’t I, who could miss this rare chance to give gyaan? I flooded her with an elaborate checklist to match. She seemed extremely scared of the proposition which was exactly my intention. After all in a country were the sex ratio is low and proclaims how rare women are, shouldn’t she make the most? I told her that arranged marriages should be a strict no-no. She should allow men to pursue her and then date some. Dump most, let few more chase her and date the most eligible ones. Filter the suitors, take a test drive, do a suitability test on every front. Then take more time to hand-pick the right candidate. Come on, if a swayamvar could be arranged for Sita in the days of no-internet, no aircrafts, no metros…you atleast deserve to hold a ‘why you?’ questionnaire form. More important, let the man not forget in his lifetime, that he is the chosen one. He should feel the gratitude of a Bharat Ratna recipient for being able to win the crown of “happily married”.
The only reaction I could achieve was more confusion in her mind. She claimed that whoever she liked, liked someone else instead. While the others she didn’t like, fell in love with her. She is infatuated to an old friend who has refused the proposal citing technical difficulties like inter-caste, inter-community etc. So she is hard broken and thinking of a shortcut to fame by way of saying ‘yes’ to a foreign proposal. I don’t blame her. Sadly, still a major chunk of our population lives the abroad dream. They think live is a roller-coaster there but reality turns out to be a trip of no joy.
I didn’t want to confuse her more and decided to make an exit. She offered to come out too as she had her brother waiting for her. Wow! I thought. Brothers are nice to have if they make time so late, just to meet you.
Bidding a hurried adieu, my new found friend left and my eyes naturally followed her through. It stopped at the image of her brother who stood at the gate waiting for her. I was about to go and drop the pleasantries (I was impressed with his dedication towards the sister, who does it in today’s time?). Just then I saw him hugging her tight with nothing brotherly though. They passionately exchanged a kiss.
I maintained a safe distance, didn't’t want to share the spotlight. I am no moral judge but couldn’t help wonder ‘What is this complication all about, why can’t she come out clean, why the confusion of to be or not to be?”


Pic Courtesy: Google Images

Fists of fury

They were no ordinary couple, recently tied to the holy sanctity of matrimony. And how I got to know this? Well, as common sense (which is not so common, you see) prevail; the woman was steeped in the accessories of her newly acquired status. The bangles (signature of newly-bonded as typical in some communities), the gaudy make-up, the revolutionized lipstick turned vermillion smeared on forehead, the flashy traditional outfit, the heavy sets of jewelry struggling for space to place and much more declaring her marital status to the world. I often wonder why men don’t embrace the married look, like how their women do, apart from the sleek ring, which has the potential to be camouflaged to suit the situations. But that is a slight deviation from my topic of writing, today. Hence, I would refrain from commenting further.
This particular couple who took the coveted title of holding my attention was busy fighting. So engrossed were they in their tiff that the ocean of people around them seemed to be too navigable to ignore. The human tsunami of the mornings didn’t seem to bother them much. They continued expressing their displeasure freely and made no effort to pose to the numerous phone cameras that might have clicked to capture their moment. In a country where any display of affection becomes an issue of colonization of the deep-rooted culture and tradition, friction gets all the freedom to be practiced. Hence, couples do have the liberty to fight their guts out in public. Afterall we are a very free society and fights are free for all.
Result is that I have encountered a lot of couples engaged in severe battles. Thankfully all of them have been verbal with scope for fist-fighting within the private premises of their homes (viewership strictly on invitation). Funny, how we love to argue in full view when we are scared to even hold hands in public. Maybe, that is a safer way to shower our attention on the special one.
We fight on issues and non-issues, the older couples can create conflicts that could bring the whole world down over absolute nothings. And if you jump in to infect some peace, you are a bigger fool because the volcano of emotions will erode your sanity. While you will be left gasping for breath, soon, you’ll find them peacefully watching their favourite TV show sipping the good old sugarless tea. As if nothing has ever transpired and you’ve conspired to pollute their deeper sense of serenity. Better, don’t waste your time in peacekeeping mission. They won’t be successful when both the parties openly admit to firing at each other beyond the legal decimal level.
Coming back to the couple, their blood-soaked glare seemed lethal to kill each other. And I was living in fear every moment that passed by. Suddenly, the woman got down at a stop. Her man quietly followed, vividly shaking his head. She never looked behind to check his presence. She was confident that he will follow. Marriage has a way, I guess. You have no other option but to follow your partner. All I got to saw were the severely savaged high heels, she removed from her feet. She dumped it right away and kept walking on one pair, struggling to balance the weight. The guy automatically grabbed the fallen remains of the other pair and hovered around. The last my eyes could catch was the man holding firm to the irreparable shoe piece oblivious to the attention he drew. Who cares when you have a battle to win!
Do fight in public because that doesn’t draw much attention. And if you’re looking to create a scene then try blowing a kiss to your beloved you’re sure to draw some anger from the morality all around. Any eyebrows raised are just some incentives to add upon.


Pic Courtesy: Google Images

Hey, you married?

I thought women are the only breed to face the pressure of getting married. “Who will marry you if you get any older?” is the familiar warning from your concerned lot. Even the not-so-concerned ones think about you all the time. And they will not hesitate to hide their disappointments in you, “Why? Aren’t you getting any proposals?”
Any less thick skinned would succumb to the pressure. Either will make a hurried choice or boycott social interactions. Few women go through an extreme mental depression and poor self-image. Quite understandably so, because there is a vast majority of people who seems to think that you’re unsettled if not married. This is the expected so women learn to live with it, if you’re one. Be happy to enjoy your singledom if marriage isn’t for you, but don’t commit until you’re ready for it, is my statutory warning. Marry for yourself and not for people around. A lesson I learnt from my mistake and an advice I generously circulate.
What struck me with wonder was the fact that even men go through this constant pressure of marriage. Family, friends, neighbours are no less sparing if you’re a man. These days they even stalk you with questions on your sexual preference, “Is everything okay with you? You like women, don’t you?”
My, my, we are getting modern and more so the neighbouring aunties who have only one KRA in their schedule, “to mind what is essentially not their business”. Your business is theirs; after all they don’t charge you for minding it. Social service they call, match-fixing and after that match-minding and even match-breaking. Guys, if you’re single be very weary of this tribe.
Rest of the job is taken care by the popular matrimonial websites. You just have to get registered once, life gets flooded with options then. Every morning they will hijack your mailbox with profiles and they will continue to hound even after you’ve married your children. If mailing you wasn’t enough, wait, they will call you continuously with sadder profiles. Sometimes they pass your contact numbers to the world and your phone keeps buzzing all the time with interview calls for matrimonial positions lying vacant.
Nobody asks for your opinion. Nobody wants to know whether you would like to surrender to the sanctity of marriage. Suddenly, the guy becomes a source of extreme pity or jealousy depending on the situation. For people of your tribe, they envy you because of your freedom and secretly wish of the same fate, like theirs. “How can He be happy enjoying all the freedom while we have to answer every move of ours to the wives? How can He have as many drinks as He wants without any home policing?”, so come on folks, let us pray for his martyrdom.
Women pity thinking of the inability of the guy to catch a nice babe. “Oh! He must be so lonely without the warmth of a wife. No one to tame him down hence he is so brash and unsophisticated.”
Who cares, if the guy made a conscious choice to remain single. Who cares, for his opinion when there are so many flooding to drown him down? People just assume that if you’re unmarried you are, well, unhappy.
Whoever cares for the happiness after marriage? You can’t be the odd one out because how can you be the poster boy of “happily unmarried”.
I sincerely acknowledge the efforts of the tribe of happily singles (men and women both) for braving out the minefields of curiosity, interrogations and impositions.


Pic Courtesy: Google Images

Food bonds

The two fought. So severely that the surroundings shook with the tremors of their accusations. They just didn’t care about the people around because they were completely involved in choosing best diction to abuse each other. Those who came for romantic candle-lit dinners left in fear of the fire that could burn their emotions. Others were enjoying the violent exchanges about to turn into a brawl.
They hated each other although they worked as partners. The work place didn’t give them the space to shout at each other. Their homes were too fragile to hold the furry. But the need to blast was dire for them to feel the greater good of mankind. Hence, meeting in a restaurant was planned at convenient times. The plan was to erupt and leave, leaving the unknown spectators to survive in the ashes of their anger.
If you ask, the reasons for their hatred towards each other, they themselves were without a clue. They just didn’t like each other. They felt as if they were looking at their mirror-image whenever their eyes met. Same designation in life and work. Same age and similar situations. Their wives had left them to make home with other men because these guys were busy making office their homes. They never liked working together so what could be finished earlier took years to see the end. Their kids couldn’t remember them and would cry at their sight because they were strangers to them. They had no friends and no social life because their enmity ate away their spare time. All they thought were ways to harm one another.
Soon their boss couldn’t handle their animosity. He tried a lot to resolve. Had meetings, discussions, brainstorming but nothing helped. At last he gave them a last chance to sort out issues. Hence, the meeting at the restaurant, all bookings done by the boss’s secretary.
The free for all soon was turning into a free entertainment for the brave hearts. The wise Restaurant Manager was worried thinking about the property damages as situation was threatening to get out of control. But he didn’t give up hope and his experience guided him. He quickly instructed to serve them the very-best from the kitchen.
And when they were about to lift their fist, perfect timing became the saving grace. The elaborate meal was spread hurriedly on their table. The rich aromas spelt its magical bind. Both were hit and before they realize, the food had overtaken their urge to make a kill. The sounds of the growling stomach just couldn’t be ignored. They mutually decided for a ceasefire and gauged ahead. The sumptuous meal dissolved all bitterness in between.
Soon silence fell in place. They got too engrossed in satiating the hunger. And before anybody could figure out, they were eating and cracking jokes. Too soaked in the goodness of food, they bonded like old buddies re-inventing friendship.
A lot can happen over good food, such is human nature. Mix it with few pegs of alcohol and you make friends for life. Few moments of bitterness and a lifetime to love. Today, they have reclaimed their jobs and restructured their relationships of life.
Cheers to the human spirit!!


Pic Courtesy: Google Images