Get, set, GO

Age changes you a lot. Says the wisely lot.
True is it, I am made to wonder.
Because I see myself changing with each passing birthday celebration.
More quieter and little to announce to the world.
While people around me are running at a pace of their own.
I simply sit back and gaze around.
Women have no gang-ups with one night stands.
Men are desperate to tie the knot early.
Teenagers exactly know how to grow up fast.
Toddlers start running even without crawling.
This is the new age.
Surely the world would be a much smarter place without my obsolete wisdom.
Everything is changing quick.And I am left gasping for breath in catching up with this change

Too grown up?

To old for that pat of dad’s implying, “You’ve made me proud”.
To old for that kiss from mom’s stating, “I’ll love you always.”
To old for that chat with sis assuring, “Nothing can come between us.”
To old for that wet lick from my dog meaning, “I missed you so much.”
To old for that look from the special someone saying, “You mean the world”.
Am I too old for good old fashioned love?
Why does age have to decide all?
Am I not human enough?

Of beauty minus brains.

Can already hear my male counterparts screaming “who cares about brains anyway?”
And thus enters the new hottie to work. Pats an eyelid and all eyes forget to even blink. Flashes her much practiced smile and all of a sudden sunshine arrives at my office. Even the biggest sulk seems happy. She is the only one to leave sharp at 6 and the only one permitted to come late. But she’s the reason behind the broadest grin on the bosses face. The motivation behind the general well-being of all the male colleagues, so what if she goofs up in briefs or fails to meet the allotted targets? All that matters is that she exists. And a souvenir of her presence, every 3 months she’s the only one to get an increment.
While we, the not so lucky ones console our hearts and scream out loud, “mera number kab aayega”.
Actually men are right, “who cares about the grey matter anyway?” Just keep looking gorgeous if not inherited then go for a series of surgery to look your best aka Rakhi or Shilpa style. And let people declare that you’ve arrived.

The WHY’s I have to reluctantly deal with:

Why am I not skinny?
Why am I not drop dead gorgeous who gets out-of-turn promotion merely on the basis of her looks?
Why do my clients keep murdering my copy assuming I won’t even grief?
Why does the client always approve the worst concept of all?
Why do my relatives keep asking about the good news?
Why do I have to decide what to cook at the end of a hectic day?
Why does the hubby not like non-veg as much as I do?
Why is my dog so fussy about food?
Why can’t I have a Gennie who’ll do all the household chores?

The list is endless. I am sure even you’ve to deal with a lot of why’ssssss in your life. Do let me know of some of the why’s those are just as disgusting as mine?

For a change

Between writing copies and re-writing lines as per client’s specifications. I wonder what options I have for an alternate career. Here is my list:

(a) Open a Kennel cum dog boarding facility.
Advantage: No deadlines to live by. Dogs will bark but won’t chase me unlike clients. Moreover I can write at my own whims and fancy. Like whenever a dog bites me, I can dedicate one poem to it. At least that’ll give ample freedom to my creative juices.

(b) Open a Kirana (read General) Store.
Advantage: Open and close the shop at my own pace. No more the axe of time threatening to break me off. In addition I can write a piece or two on the aroma of masala and pickles surrounding me. And if I’m lucky can read a book too.

(c) Become a corrupt Politician.
Advantage: Lots of income without the fear of paying income tax. And all I have to do is sit, throw my weight around, use the scare tactics and once in a while go for political preaching. Nobody will hold me accountable for not keeping promises. Hey, that’s what is expected to people from politics. On top of it, I’ll have crowds listening to every word of mine. While here the whole day we have something on our mind, but not a single soul to hear us out. Plus I never need to retire because I do no work to tire.

These three options look really lucrative to me right now. These are recession-proof without the fear of having to search for another job, incase my performance is not up to the expected mark. Who cares? Just do it for a change. What say?

Must have in every Copywriter’s life:

* Clients who think they can write and hence require no writers
* Clients who think. “Who reads copy? So why need copy?”
* One liner briefs
* Forever changing briefs
* Uninspiring Art guy who pulls the trigger through your shoulder
* Shady translations
* Writer’s cramp but strangulating deadlines
* Simple and straight copy(read as plain lines for which you don’t need a copy person)
* Copy checking the final print which makes you wonder, "When did I write this?"
* Critical deadline (read as night out with your Art team with no accounting for late hours)
* Above all the infamous quote, “We can’t afford to pay you that much, but you’ll get growth opportunity.”