I Can

In a body of imperfections
With stretch marks that is more stubborn than I am
Not beautiful, by-your standards
I just know that I am special
Because only I can
Look into the mirror and say, “life must go on”
Despite the setbacks, the heartbreaks, the numerous downfalls
And with every fall, I know I will still stand up
And yet be ready to tell you that “yes, I can”.

Things for forever

It has been a while since I wrote a new entry. It is not that I don’t write anymore, rather, my writing has been put to some serious test over the last few days. Thanks to my profession, now writing will be taking care of my bills (well almost). With a lot of change around me recently, some things I’ve discovered will never change.
Like the concern of my parents when I reach late, or, don’t call my maa immediately after I reach my office
The deadlines which keeps getting shorter day by day
The brief which are too brief at times
The traffic jams every time I hit the road, just because we have a penchant for chaos
The fuss over what to eat and what to wear
The pain you go through when you’re cut or bruised
And, most importantly it does hurt, just the same, with the realization that you are no more wanted
The neighbours who mind your business, because they have nothing more to mind
The love for your one and only car, even if it is second-hand
The joy of reading the SMS alert that your salary traveled to your account safely
Do you also have a list of things that never change for you? Or like me, maybe you don’t want them to change?

The end-less love story

“Met her after 11 years and you know I still love her,” declared the elderly do-all-good colleague of mine. Me, not such a good judge of love, was wordless and thought it better to continue listening. He went on, “we loved each other a lot, but we parted and I promised never to meet her again.”
The very conventional elderly and highly respected colleague of mine was not the types to break the norms. At least that is what I thought. But his confession was a shocker and what followed left me so hopeful in life, in love.
His love story still continues in a very non-norms way. His wife was not somebody he could go home and talk about work. Neither was she indifferent towards her wifely duties. With kids filling up their time, life was as usual and that of happy co-existence.
Then he met a young colleague, good-looking, intelligent and desirable from every aspect. Strong friendship grew first and then love followed, gradually. Both knew he was married and there was no future. But they never could give up on each other and most importantly their friendship.
There was no element of expectation and nothing illegitimate ever happened, yet the bond was stronger than any other partnership. Time flew, she got married. They decided not to meet ever again. They lost touch but not the feeling of being touched.
After 11 years, she called up just to meet him. They met, enjoyed each other’s company and talked about each other’s family and life in general, more so retirement plans.
I don’t know about her but he still looks so much in love with her. The sparkle in his eyes couldn’t hide his emotions.
Such a different love story without any ending, but, he still looks so much complete. Do such stories still exist in today’s time of instant gratification, or is it limited to that generation yesterday? How I wish I could have a similar story like this?

The ad-mad world

In a profession, where writing takes care of my bills, well almost. Sometimes I even manage to go beyond my bills to take care of my little indulgences. I am baffled by the variations of work, the tight deadlines and the stiff-necked clients who never give you the freedom to be. After a self-imposed break of few years, I am back settling and recovering. Reality has dawned on me and despite the time gap I now, know that some things will never change in this world:
Like your client briefs – they are too brief to comprehend
Like your clients – you just can’t afford to prove them wrong so each time you choose to be wrong
Like your English can never be better than that of your clients so you let him write most of the times
Like your servicing team will sell client’s ideas to you and not the other way round (they are harmless and sandwiched souls)
Like your ideas are as cool or un-cool as that of your client’s whims and fancies
However,
I’ve realized how lucky I am to be surrounded with colleagues, less normal than most (and so much like me).
They don’t ask me the usual. Most importantly, they don’t do the usual and neither do they expect me to be the usual. Whoever, said that this is “A BIG MAD WORLD” was talking about my world of Advertising, a world that has always welcomed me with open arms. Thank you, GUYS!

Daddy's Little Girl (not little for the world)

During the growing up days, it wasn’t easy to talk to Baba (Dad) on most things. Even the faintest names of guys would trigger a tremor too great to withstand. And it would result on a week long Hitler rule of:

* No guys calling at home
* Curfew after 7 in the evening
* Usual search of belongings to ensure the safety of my innocence
* Cross-checking my whereabouts to detect loopholes
The list was endless…and too embarrassing to get into the details at times.

Time changed, I grew and so did his rules. But one thing that never changed in Baba was his innate desire to ‘protect’ me from this big, bad world. Life hasn’t been too kind to me and with my homecoming after all these years he still wants to take care of his little girl (who is now in her mid 30’s soon to fall in the category of auntyji). So much so that he has no qualms in repeating directions to me and even goes to the extent of teaching me how to cross the busy roads. “Look on your right, then on your left, again on your…,” I interrupt too embarrassed. “So what?” he says, “You will always be little for me”. And still I see his eyebrows form that familiar expression hearing a male voice on my phone. More importantly, he never shies away from the patent statutory warning, “be careful”.
Today, when I brought his beloved car to work for the very first time in my life; I did feel his love clouding me. I drove very carefully, more cautiously than ever knowing that I can’t afford to make a mistake. Almost, as if I could overhear the all familiar tone, “Bete, be safe”.
I know it is not easy to stay with your parents at my age, but sometimes I do feel I am blessed. I know I am not too easy to live with, I scold him and he doesn’t protest. He continues fretting about me unfazed by my mood swings.
Thankfully, HE IS THERE! (And so is his car)

Ding Ding

Simplicity is the best gift that we don’t treasure when we are young. Later on when you lose your innocence, your virginity, your hair among many more; do you realize the loss. Lately, at my place of work I happened to meet a young Intern who makes me miss my days of innocence. And I pray I could preserve hers for her.
She has a vocabulary, version and vision which no matter how many earthquakes strike will find it absolutely difficult to shake. So when the Hero of a movie woos his heroine she smartly says, “ding ding ho gaya”. I keep asking her again and again just to enjoy the ‘ding-ding’ in her words.
She has a clear vision of whom she will marry, when she will marry and has even named the kids she will have. And blatantly declares it to the world with a self-belief that no storms can destroy. Quite oblivious to the complexities of life and destiny. Wish I could be so immaculate in my planning when I was stationed at her age, maybe then life would have been different for me.
She is the epitome of confidence. Cuddly, unconscious about the expanding territories of her body along with a love for food too supreme to partake the sessions of painful workout. While I starve myself and keep telling the mind not to overindulge in food. Wish I could be so carefree in the confidence of youth.
She is bravely opinionated and doesn't spare criticizing the top-notch bosses on the smallest of pretext. While my professional experiences have taught me to avoid conflicts and never doubt the sanity of top authorities. Is it my short shortsightedness or her fiery youthfulness that doesn't let fear overpower?
Part of me envies her and the other part knows that she shall change because the loss of innocence is an inevitable process. All I pray that atleast her life goes as per plans…mine hasn't, atleast somebody’s right? And she is lucky in her Ding-Ding.

Wings on fire

Too tiny to struggle, too bruised to recover
The wings on fire, she knew the end could be near
Yet the spirit behind the tiny body just wouldn’t give up
So, she plunged into the ocean of hope and survival

To heal the bruises of despair and destruction
To breathe in to life like ever before
To recover and let go
To new beginnings and aspirations

To stop being a victim and show the world
“That a little bird can fly with her wings on fire.”