When are you settling down?

“Marriage is a union made in Heaven … and hey wait till I finish my line…. And lived in Hell.”
These are not mine but a popular quote of the wisely that I am sure you are well aware off.
Yet, India seems to be obsessed with marriage. Why put one more blame on our politicians and the bureaucracy? Look around you and see how crazy we all are to see people getting married and struggling to remain so till death do them apart. So much so that whenever we come across a fresh carefree breeze of youth in the neighbourhood the pang of jealously brings out the evil in each one of us. And it becomes our business to constantly bombard the parents with the time tested and tried question of “when are you getting your daughter/son married?” Till the time they get restless and pass the germ ahead.
As if that wasn’t enough we feel it is our birthright to bug the prospective bakra (read the goat to be butchered) with again the old boring question of, “ so when are you calling me for your marriage dinner?” As if this is the last supper we’ve been waiting all through our lives without which we just can’t reserve our berth in Heaven.
Most times we get so carried away that we don’t even run shy of playing cupid. Whether the subjects of our real life drama (directed by us) is least concerned or doesn’t hide his/her irritation doesn’t dampen our morale. We carry on our crusade of so-called settling people down.
The term settling down itself has a different connotation in our country. Elsewhere it would mean to have a good job that does not require dealing in arms or killing people, to have a decent pay package if not a big fat one that doesn’t require extortion or blackmailing. All in all to have a life where you are not doing anything against the law and still being able to pay all your bills along with a certain portion of the income reserved for indulgence.
But, hey, in India “settling down” has a new meaning that’s unchanged since eternity. It means to get married and stay married forever. Even if you’re able to enjoy all the finer things in life more frequently than others yet you won’t be figuring out in the list of the accomplished haves until you tie the knot. And it is everybody’s business here to make you settle down (your opinion is immaterial).
But the moment you take the pledge and still learning to swim. There comes the loud chorus of all well-wishers, “See, we told you not to marry?”
And you are left scratching your head wondering, “When did I miss the statutory warnings?”
But before you know you’ll sail through with a vengeance that screams, “Pay back time folks! If I wasn’t spared, why should anybody else?”
While you go on greeting, “Wishing you a very happy wedded life”.