The Yesterday

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Yesterday, the 19th of April was exactly the day I was born some years ago. I was never the one to celebrate it with much gusto rather I am so forgetful with dates that you got to believe me when I tell you that I even forgot mine again some years back. That time I was with mom who reminded me:
(a) Because I was her first child
(b) Because she bore me for 9 difficult months
(c) Because I wasn’t an easy delivery
This was the first time in life that I was away from anybody related through birth or otherwise. I anticipated with much apprehension of the tough day ahead. The entire month has not been particularly smooth for me so I had no high hopes from this particular day.
Yet, I was taken for some pleasant surprise. The friends in this city which snatched a lot from me pulled it through. And I scored high on my self-confidence. They made me feel special. They made me feel wanted. And most importantly they made me feel family. They showered me with messages. They kept my phone busy most of the time with random calls. Even went out of their way to lift my spirits. A special mention to M who left her own family to spend the night at my place. She even treated me to mouth-watering kebabs for dinner. Another M and her sons even offered to bake a cake for me. I refused though because my work stood on the way. Wishes came from every quarter of life and my phone kept ringing.
What would I’ve done without you guys? You’ll always remain special and you made me believe that I am not alone here.
As for those who didn’t wish me (some were eagerly awaited and I kept waiting just to hear their voices), I have no complaints. A pang of disappointment did surface but I guess I am too old to hold it against anyone.
Today, I am a day older and coming to terms with a lot of change.
Thank you all for being there and making my yesterday not so difficult to survive!

The Lost

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“But I love you a lot and you’re my world,” said she. She needed him in her life more than anything else. She did everything for him. Everything you could ever imagine. Every morning when she looked at herself in the mirror she asked, “Will he like me today?” She dressed the way he liked. Tied her hair the way he approved. Perhaps even smiled the way he wanted.
Every night she waited for him to come home and especially to her. She stood in the balcony trying to catch a glimpse of his even when the mosquitoes feasted on her blood. “Who cares?” she told herself. And when he touched her she told herself, “Now even if death takes me away right at this moment I’ll have no regrets.”
She spent many nights chatting with him yet never got tired of listening to him. People thought that she is mad. Mad she was but only for him.
Then came a day when her world turned upside down. He made an exit from her life. Without a word he simply disappeared. Perhaps her fault was that she was completely lost in love. And couldn't find her way back without him.
Today, you might still find her in the street calling his name. Holding an old photograph she might ask, “Have you seen this man?”

Letter from a daughter

Dear Maa,

I am your child and you made me what I am today. You taught me lessons that do not exist in any textbook. Lessons that are learnt only through living life.
“You are a girl,” you kept reminding all the while. You spent hours teaching the goodness of selflessness, more so because I am a daughter in this world.
You started feeding me with tales of everlasting love. Of the Prince who would come in his shining armor to rescue the hapless Princess. Of happy endings where people lived happily ever after.
And then I grew up believing in them. I kept looking for my own happy ending. I too believed that nice things do happen to nice people. I patiently waited through all hardships of life. I took them all with the belief that “this too shall pass”.
But reality has been something else. The turbulence never seems to end. Each day I wake up thinking today will be different.
Mom, why didn’t you tell me that fairies never exist? Why didn’t you tell me that dreams never come true? Why didn’t you tell me that happy endings are not for real? Why didn’t you tell me that no good is waiting even if you be good?
Next time when you raise me up. Don’t give me stories that I start believing in. Don’t give me hope because it pains when hopes crash. Just tell me plain that I have to suffer for reasons not known. And I have no reason to dream because I am a girl born in this world. Give me everything but not hope.

With a lot of desperation from a daughter you might have known.

Wishing all the women

Today is the day,
For Rupa who never realized how beautiful she is
Because she is dark and fat,
Because no one gave her a second look.
This day is to let you know that you will always be beautiful.

Today is the day,
For Priya who never realized how lovable she is,
Because her parents wanted a son instead of her,
Because the husband was too busy in affairs of his own,
This day is to let you know that you are loved a lot.

Today is the day,
For Saraswati who never got a chance to fulfill her dreams,
Because girls have no business as important as marriage,
Because girls don’t need to study too hard,
This day is to let you know that nothing is impossible for you to achieve.

Today is the day,
For women all over the world to realize that they are special,
Because they have the courage to go against the tide,
Because they have a heart which never stops loving,
This day is to celebrate that womanhood.
This day is to take a pledge to never stop being a woman.

Happy Women’s Day to you all!!

Watch your word!

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“Hey, fatso!” the young boys screamed at my companion while speeding their bike right beside her. It caught me unaware and I pushed her towards my side fearing her safety.
Yet, the lady in question was totally undeterred and relaxed. Rather she told me to take a deep breath and stopped me from shouting back (curbing my natural instinct in the process).
Not once did I see her sulking or embarrassed, which is quite the opposite with me. You would have found me writing furiously on the weight factor. Who knows I would have stretched it much beyond by conducting a public poll on my weight factor.
The very next morning I found her at my doorstep asking me to go shopping with her. With my precious weekend just beginning to start, I was in every mood to say “no” if yesterday’s incident wouldn’t have happened in our lives. Retail therapy is a rather popular way of killing depression, I am told.
So, off we went for shopping without a clue of what was waiting for me in particular. She told me about her pledge while I was behind the wheels. Else, I would have faked a headache and ran for life. Only last night she came to the conclusion of loving herself (before loving anybody else). And the best way was to indulge in a perfect pair of denims. Says who, don’t ask me, I have no clue.
But the only issue that she quite conveniently overlooked was the fact that she was “supremely overweight”. I can’t call her fat because my manners won’t let me do that. And the other problem was that the last time she wore a pair of denims was before I was born. My level of confidence was fading while her level of enthusiasm was peaking.
The round to the various malls was a pain I could prefer to forget but wishes are not horses. And that very day I realized how underpaid is our sales guys. I was a mute spectator to the tortures these oh-so-patient sales guys were put through. The trial for that perfect denim started from size 32 and went till the sales guy cried out, “this is the last size we have”. Hope the Almighty forgives me from not saving the desperate. But, dear God, you know how helpless I was!
And each time we came out from the shops, the lady excitedly proclaimed,
“That denim was perfect but just a little tight on my waist.” She continued with her explanation, “You know I don’t wear tight stuff (like you all) otherwise it was just alright”.
I told my prayers and kept shuffling until it was late and her feet gave way. All I got to hear was that they have stopped making denims for real women anymore. That night I hit my bed and wished that those boys should never be able to utter the word “fat” in their lives.

The stranger

The flames of the next-door fire was about to engulf the kitchen window. Mr. T knew the last could be near, very near. He screamed for his son who was busy collecting all the important documents. The wife with daughter had reluctantly climbed downstairs carrying the valuables. He knew to wait further was utter foolishness yet like most middle-class, home was his most prized asset. Something he had built gradually and was now on the verge of losing it forever.
At that very moment, Mr. T found a hand patting his back. “Sir, we’ve to fight it out. Just can’t watch the fire overpower all,” shouted the complete stranger. His confidence was infectious and gave Mr. T the exuberance of adolescence. Together they put a strong resistance. Soon the professionals joined them to save the two room apartment. It was early morning when the fire was fully extinguished. All this while the stranger never once left his side.
Finally the wife moved up with the children. Mr. T searched for his wallet and emptied it to offer to the stranger. “You keep it back, Sir! I don’t need it,” the stranger responded. “Then what to do you need?” asked confused Mr. T.
Pat came the reply, “Just a cup of tea without milk and sugar.” He continued, “I am jobless. Entire day was trotting around looking for a job. Saw the flames and rushed in. Even you would have done the same, wouldn’t you?”
Mr. T went blank and speechless. The stranger had tea and disappeared from their lives as suddenly as he had entered. No pleasantries spoken. No numbers exchanged.
That very day Mr. T prayed for the first time in his 47 year old life.

(P.S. This is inspired from a true story.)

Till death do us apart

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Everybody around is getting married. Even the British royalty seems to be in a hurry to take the plunge. Word of caution from well-wishers is not good enough for the lovelorn couple who sees no reason to the fuss around. And why not? Did we listen to the more experienced friends when they cautioned us? With dreamy eyes and soulful of expectations we tied the knot. And before you get me wrong, let me clarify one thing. I am not against marriage at all. And why should I because I have tasted and sailed through the different turns of holy matrimony myself. So, fear not but be realistic in your expectations and needs from this new relationship which according to Hindu mythology is sure to last your not one but seven lifetime. Quite a task! What say?
Here are some pointers which might help you for a reality check:
• All real couples do fight and they fight a lot. So if you feel that your marriage is going to be completely different from your parents who still fight at the slightest hint. You are in for some surprise. Chances are you could end up fighting more.
• Marriage is like a long drive on a highway. In the same journey, some roads are a treat to drive while others are a terror to pass by. Quite alike, in a marriage some days are like a dream come true while others are too bad even to wake up to.
• Marriage is a sealed deal which has no provision for any alteration in future. So if your spouse today can give some serious competition to any beauty queen. Count your blessings and don’t brag about it. Because people do change quite a lot and she might not look the same gorgeous babe you got hooked to. Your prosperity might be proportional to her size making her bloat even more with every success of yours. After all haven’t you heard the saying, “Behind every successful man there is a woman”. Now nobody told us how this woman looks like, right?
• Whether you thought you’ll never let any outsider intrude is a fiction far away from reality. Parents are bound to get involved. More so in your fights. And you will find yourself uttering sentences like, “See your mom said this and your dad told me that.”
• You’ll truly wait and celebrate just the first anniversary. After that the counting will stop. Rest will follow as you keep working each day to make it work. And one fine day, somebody will wish “Happy Anniversary” while you’ll wonder “oh, maybe that is why the day sounded familiar”. Then as you end up another fight for forgetting the D-day. You’ll find yourself murmuring, “Big deal! Marriage is not the end of the world.”
Before you think that I am trying to persuade you against it. Let me just say that I am not. Marriage is an experience on which you can write books. It is a change you wake up to and a belief you fall asleep to feeling secured where advices do come handy most times. And tomorrow don’t blame me that “I didn’t tell you so.”